I went home for the weekend before Christmas. That was four days of family time.
So for some reason, since I've returned I have been acting out. I have decided to just go with it until the 2nd, even though my body may be paying the price. Oh yeah, my work may be suffering too, but who cares about that.
Clearly, the highlite of everyone's holidays is New Years Eve. Frankly, i hate planning out a NYE event. After debating several different bar events, we decided to go to a a party being put on by a friend of one of my friends. She said that the guys hosting the party were also going out the Wednesday and I should go and meet them to make sure that I didn't think they were complete douches. So we did. We drank quite a bit. Then some random guy tried to challenge 7 guys to a fight for the right to talk to the one girl in our group who already told him she was not interested. So we just had him kicked out. I am an amazing fighter (i think my exact words were, "fuck this, i'm getting the bouncer.").
Regardless, after an hour more we move over a bar (passing the guy who was now being sat on by a bouncer). I start talking to a waitress and filling her in on what exactly happened. After several more drinks, she gives me a ride home. I invite her up and we have some fun.
Later I find out that one of the guys hosting the party has been trying to get her for awhile. However, this apparently makes me hilarious to the other guys. That and the whole guy trying to fight everyone. So tonight, I am fearful that a) one of the host people will be mad at me, and b) (probably more important) that the guys will expect me to continue the amount of entertainment I gave them in the middle of the week.
Oh yeah, that was the first time i ever did a drunken one night stand. I'll decide later if i will make them more common.
December 31, 2007
December 10, 2007
Random Update
Been busy lately.
Gone on a couple dates, some better than others. Nothing to exciting to report yet. I have basically redesigned my dating strategy to focus on getting me to the restaurants i want to try in the city. A little selfish, yes. But whatever, I pretty much pay for every meal, so I may as well go where i want to go.
This saturday a waitress at the bar i was at was flirting with me. I can still not cross the line of hitting on girls who are on the clock. It's not that i thought she was flirting to get a better tip (noone at my table bought a single beer from her, i don't think she was even in charge of our table), it is just rude on some level to me. Maybe i am wrong. If i get desperate, i will probably change my mind on the issue.
In more fun news, i got a good review and raise at work. Impressive seeing as I screw around way too much at work. Regardless, my boss forgot to put the raise in the first paycheck after it took affect. I had to awkwardly remind him. He said he would take care of it. So today when he gave me the 2nd check, he said he would add the difference to my Christmas bonus. So i am getting a bonus, i had no idea. Small firms are very hit or miss on that type of thing. The other part is that his math was a little off on the amount difference, but i don't know if i'm going to correct him. Small error in my favor... I'll have to sleep on it.
EDIT: spellcheck
Gone on a couple dates, some better than others. Nothing to exciting to report yet. I have basically redesigned my dating strategy to focus on getting me to the restaurants i want to try in the city. A little selfish, yes. But whatever, I pretty much pay for every meal, so I may as well go where i want to go.
This saturday a waitress at the bar i was at was flirting with me. I can still not cross the line of hitting on girls who are on the clock. It's not that i thought she was flirting to get a better tip (noone at my table bought a single beer from her, i don't think she was even in charge of our table), it is just rude on some level to me. Maybe i am wrong. If i get desperate, i will probably change my mind on the issue.
In more fun news, i got a good review and raise at work. Impressive seeing as I screw around way too much at work. Regardless, my boss forgot to put the raise in the first paycheck after it took affect. I had to awkwardly remind him. He said he would take care of it. So today when he gave me the 2nd check, he said he would add the difference to my Christmas bonus. So i am getting a bonus, i had no idea. Small firms are very hit or miss on that type of thing. The other part is that his math was a little off on the amount difference, but i don't know if i'm going to correct him. Small error in my favor... I'll have to sleep on it.
EDIT: spellcheck
December 2, 2007
I Give Up
Ok, i quit.
After a year of your trying, I will now allow it. It is no longer worth my effort. From the constant knocking at all hours to the efforts I have had to do to maintain proper levels in my life, it is no longer worth it. I will open the door.
I am letting my cat back into my bedroom. She is ecstatic and napping on my bed.
I am just hoping this lets me control the temperature/humidity in the bedroom enough to be ok with the amount of cat hair that is now going to be in there.
After a year of your trying, I will now allow it. It is no longer worth my effort. From the constant knocking at all hours to the efforts I have had to do to maintain proper levels in my life, it is no longer worth it. I will open the door.
I am letting my cat back into my bedroom. She is ecstatic and napping on my bed.
I am just hoping this lets me control the temperature/humidity in the bedroom enough to be ok with the amount of cat hair that is now going to be in there.
November 29, 2007
My Bed
I love my bed. It is my best relationship. My mattress was a gift from my parents after I graduated undergrad. Apartments in Chicago don't come furnished, and I really wanted a quality bed for sleeping during law school.
Anyways, I washed my sheets a little bit ago. I have several sets of sheets (i ask for a set of high thread count sheets every year from Christmas), so this only has to happen every once in awhile. That and i am just plain old dirty.
Getting to the point, the other day i was looking at my bed. Something just didn't look right. I stared it for a minute. Then i figured it out. I only had two pillows. Ever since I had that bed, I have usually had four pillows. That is what happens when you have a girlfriend for the three years of law school. After I moved into my current place, I had continued to use four pillows out of habit. It appears that I subconsciously eliminated the two extra pillows last time i stripped the bed.
I have never felt so single. Yet, I am so very comfortable with it. Go me.
Anyways, I washed my sheets a little bit ago. I have several sets of sheets (i ask for a set of high thread count sheets every year from Christmas), so this only has to happen every once in awhile. That and i am just plain old dirty.
Getting to the point, the other day i was looking at my bed. Something just didn't look right. I stared it for a minute. Then i figured it out. I only had two pillows. Ever since I had that bed, I have usually had four pillows. That is what happens when you have a girlfriend for the three years of law school. After I moved into my current place, I had continued to use four pillows out of habit. It appears that I subconsciously eliminated the two extra pillows last time i stripped the bed.
I have never felt so single. Yet, I am so very comfortable with it. Go me.
November 27, 2007
Quick updates
Yeah, yeah, i am lame and slow. But noone reads this, so it does not matter.
quick updates:
-have written off the HPP because it was just not worth it. Something extremely awkward about trying to date someone who lives on the other side of a large city. You are in the same city so it is not long distance, but it is about an half hour drive, so it is very bothersome. The final straw was probably when she gave me a ride home after some afterwork drinks and declined to come up. Not because she didn't come up, but because it was clear that we both thought the half hour drive was really destructive to anything moving forward.
-so the 22 year old sister of a friend steps up into the primary role. She is still technically in undergrad, but graduates this month. I haven't really decided what i think about that. She is going to med school in the fall, hopefully in chicago. But she is slightly funny, smart, and cute. Plus, i managed to have a near hour long phone conversation with her, which is highly abnormal for me. I hate phones.
-other random dates and girls have not left anything worth writing about.
I spent Thanksgiving at my parents. All my cousins on my dad's side were there. After playing with my niece and nephew, looking at the freaky "baby in my belly" photos of both my newly pregnant again sisters, and watching my father-to-be-cousin get so drunk he puked in his shirt, I am investing in more birth control. I think vodka and stairs.
quick updates:
-have written off the HPP because it was just not worth it. Something extremely awkward about trying to date someone who lives on the other side of a large city. You are in the same city so it is not long distance, but it is about an half hour drive, so it is very bothersome. The final straw was probably when she gave me a ride home after some afterwork drinks and declined to come up. Not because she didn't come up, but because it was clear that we both thought the half hour drive was really destructive to anything moving forward.
-so the 22 year old sister of a friend steps up into the primary role. She is still technically in undergrad, but graduates this month. I haven't really decided what i think about that. She is going to med school in the fall, hopefully in chicago. But she is slightly funny, smart, and cute. Plus, i managed to have a near hour long phone conversation with her, which is highly abnormal for me. I hate phones.
-other random dates and girls have not left anything worth writing about.
I spent Thanksgiving at my parents. All my cousins on my dad's side were there. After playing with my niece and nephew, looking at the freaky "baby in my belly" photos of both my newly pregnant again sisters, and watching my father-to-be-cousin get so drunk he puked in his shirt, I am investing in more birth control. I think vodka and stairs.
November 7, 2007
Random catch-ups
This weekend i was flipping through some television. I stopped when i thought, "Hey, there's an attractive lady." So i watched for a bit. It was espn, but there are some hot female athletes. However, then i figured out it was the LPBA... yes, a professional bowling lady. I think i am getting stupid horny.
Yesterday I meet up with the hyde park prude for some after work drinks. Well, after work for me, she is a student. She had gotten her hair done. The most striking physical characteristic of her is her hair, it is very curly. She had gotten it straightened. I honestly did not recognize her. Also, i think she was hotter with straight hair. I decided not to tell her that. She drove me home and declined to come up. So yeah, i don't get her. She really is not a fan of alone time.
Tonight, I called up my friend's little sister from U of I. Had a nice little talk with her. I am heading down to st. louis this weekend. So i offered to stop by on my back on sunday and take her out to brunch. She seemed to like the idea. She also asked if i would help her procrastinate for a little bit after brunch. Sounds good to me.
Also, my dishwasher is broken. So i am making frozen pizza. It doesn't dirty up dishes, which is key. Though, we all know that this means i will have a burnt tongue tonight.
Yesterday I meet up with the hyde park prude for some after work drinks. Well, after work for me, she is a student. She had gotten her hair done. The most striking physical characteristic of her is her hair, it is very curly. She had gotten it straightened. I honestly did not recognize her. Also, i think she was hotter with straight hair. I decided not to tell her that. She drove me home and declined to come up. So yeah, i don't get her. She really is not a fan of alone time.
Tonight, I called up my friend's little sister from U of I. Had a nice little talk with her. I am heading down to st. louis this weekend. So i offered to stop by on my back on sunday and take her out to brunch. She seemed to like the idea. She also asked if i would help her procrastinate for a little bit after brunch. Sounds good to me.
Also, my dishwasher is broken. So i am making frozen pizza. It doesn't dirty up dishes, which is key. Though, we all know that this means i will have a burnt tongue tonight.
October 29, 2007
Halloween
I attempted to wingman for a female friend over halloween weekend.
However, I was very drunk at the time. So i just threw my plastic butcher knife at him repeatedly.
It did not work.
Sorry.
However, I was very drunk at the time. So i just threw my plastic butcher knife at him repeatedly.
It did not work.
Sorry.
October 22, 2007
My Weekend
Friday: Went to get a beer with a friend. This resulted in doing shots at Roscoes. Found a straight girl. She refused to talk to me because i was also straight. Decided to go just continue flirting with the guy next to me and watch the lesbians.
Saturday: Went to the college football game. Lots of tailgating. Was introduced to friend's younger sister. Need to get friend's younger sister's phone number. And figure out when she graduates. Ended the night drinking in the bed of a pickup truck parked outside a townie bar.
Sunday: Watched the baseball game with the girl from hyde park. Was too tired even to try anything. Lost the bet when Boston won, now I owe her dinner.
Tonight: Staying in. Drinking juice to detox. Cleaning my apartment and doing laundry. Sadly, I am an adult now and can't pretend i am still in college or law school. Though, i wonder if i will change my mind about that the same way i realized that i could still pretend i was in college during law school.
Saturday: Went to the college football game. Lots of tailgating. Was introduced to friend's younger sister. Need to get friend's younger sister's phone number. And figure out when she graduates. Ended the night drinking in the bed of a pickup truck parked outside a townie bar.
Sunday: Watched the baseball game with the girl from hyde park. Was too tired even to try anything. Lost the bet when Boston won, now I owe her dinner.
Tonight: Staying in. Drinking juice to detox. Cleaning my apartment and doing laundry. Sadly, I am an adult now and can't pretend i am still in college or law school. Though, i wonder if i will change my mind about that the same way i realized that i could still pretend i was in college during law school.
October 15, 2007
8, 9, 10, 11?
This weekend, I had the girl that I've been seeing over for dinner.
I made a decent meal. She seemed to enjoy it and ate more of it then I did. So either it was good, or she is great at faking liking food. We then hanged out for a bit, watched some baseball, etc.
When it got a little late, I took her home. In the elevator down to the garage, I looked at her hand. I noticed a little bump. So I asked, "Do you have a blister?" She looked at me and replied, "No. That's a finger."
I could tell immediately that she was not joking. I panicked for a moment, as I first thought that meant she only had 4 fingers on that hand. As I had held her hand and whatnot before, I thought I would have picked up on that. She continued to tell me about her polydactylism. She was born with 11 fingers and 12 toes. Her parents had them removed when she was a couple days old. There is the little bump on her hand, and I have never seen her feet.
I was a little weirded out. Seriously, what the fuck?
I made a decent meal. She seemed to enjoy it and ate more of it then I did. So either it was good, or she is great at faking liking food. We then hanged out for a bit, watched some baseball, etc.
When it got a little late, I took her home. In the elevator down to the garage, I looked at her hand. I noticed a little bump. So I asked, "Do you have a blister?" She looked at me and replied, "No. That's a finger."
I could tell immediately that she was not joking. I panicked for a moment, as I first thought that meant she only had 4 fingers on that hand. As I had held her hand and whatnot before, I thought I would have picked up on that. She continued to tell me about her polydactylism. She was born with 11 fingers and 12 toes. Her parents had them removed when she was a couple days old. There is the little bump on her hand, and I have never seen her feet.
I was a little weirded out. Seriously, what the fuck?
October 1, 2007
Awkward Dinner Conversation
Saturday night I went out to dinner with a friend's group of friends. So of the 10 other people there, I had meet 3 before. The rest had all gone to college together. We ended up at a greek restaurant that was hosting some sort of party. Therefore, they stuck us in the back, outside. There was a nice view of the 7/11.
At some point, they decided that each person should tell the most embarrassing thing that had ever happened to them. It was somewhat strange, because for most of them, the embarrassment had occurred in front of most of the people there. However, the real problem occurred when it was my turn.
How do you say, "So I was dating this girl for years, broke up, decided that was wrong, proposed to her, had her fuck around with a random guy and her best friend's cousin while she "thought about it", attempted to date with the plan of getting married and had her quit on us after 3 weeks."
Even I can't pass that off as a joke yet. Instead, i just talked about losing my pants at my friends' wedding.
At some point, they decided that each person should tell the most embarrassing thing that had ever happened to them. It was somewhat strange, because for most of them, the embarrassment had occurred in front of most of the people there. However, the real problem occurred when it was my turn.
How do you say, "So I was dating this girl for years, broke up, decided that was wrong, proposed to her, had her fuck around with a random guy and her best friend's cousin while she "thought about it", attempted to date with the plan of getting married and had her quit on us after 3 weeks."
Even I can't pass that off as a joke yet. Instead, i just talked about losing my pants at my friends' wedding.
September 25, 2007
Changes
I decided that if I got up early in the morning and started to do morning runs, I would have much more time in the evening for other things. Additionally, I would not need the post-run shower in the evening. So I would be saving the world. So I set my alarm clock for an hour and half earlier this morning. This plan failed for several reasons:
1. getting up earlier only starts your day earlier. It does not create extra time. There are still only 24 hours in a day.
2. all noises sound like rain at 6 am. Therefore, I am not likely to get out of bed then.
3. I really like sleep.
4. I stayed up too late last night to start getting up early.
Among other reasons, my plan failed and I went back to sleep. I will try again tomorrow. It is really hard to make changes to your routine.
Also, I got a haircut last night, so: http://youtube.com/watch?v=4JMOh-cul6M
1. getting up earlier only starts your day earlier. It does not create extra time. There are still only 24 hours in a day.
2. all noises sound like rain at 6 am. Therefore, I am not likely to get out of bed then.
3. I really like sleep.
4. I stayed up too late last night to start getting up early.
Among other reasons, my plan failed and I went back to sleep. I will try again tomorrow. It is really hard to make changes to your routine.
Also, I got a haircut last night, so: http://youtube.com/watch?v=4JMOh-cul6M
September 19, 2007
Choices
Why is that when you give a girl a choice between something that would be entertaining (like say some live music) or something that would be freaking awesome (like say some turtle racing), she never takes the freaking awesome?
Silly girls.
Silly girls.
September 14, 2007
A Real Date
Just in case I give the impression that I am just a jerk on my dates and all that, I will describe my date last saturday, as I think it qualifies as a real date.
The girl is a grad student down at U of C. Please note that grad students (at least the non-law ones) are completely different then your stereotypical U of C student. They have some social skills and aren't completely ugly. Also, they tend to ooze a slightly less amount of pretentious bullshit. However, they still live in Hyde Park, which tends to make them geographically undesirable. This particular girl is in a program that one of my good friends recently graduated from, so I can speak semi-coherently on it with her. Always a bonus. She is smart, cute, and Southern (which is new to me), so she has managed to keep my attention for a couple dates. Last Saturday, we went on a date to celebrate her finishing her summer internship.
I had planned out all of our previous dates, and since she was the one who accomplished something, we brainstormed some ideas together. Eventually, we decided to celebrate the end of summer with a picnic at Millennium Park. It worked out well as they were having a free concert that night, the Lyric Opera House was presenting a sampling of their upcoming season. Even though I am not classy whatsoever, I do not abhor culture, so it was fine with me. She packed a picnic, I brought the physical supplies and a bottle of wine. We got a little luck with the weather, got a nice spot near the back, and had a great time. Though, you tend to talk over the free concerts at Millennium Park, but if you are near the back, everyone does it and it is fine. We could even see the Navy Pier fireworks during intermission.
So there you go, a real date where I was not an asshole and practically was a gentleman. She has been out at her parents the past week, so when she returns to the city, we shall see if this goes anywhere else.
The girl is a grad student down at U of C. Please note that grad students (at least the non-law ones) are completely different then your stereotypical U of C student. They have some social skills and aren't completely ugly. Also, they tend to ooze a slightly less amount of pretentious bullshit. However, they still live in Hyde Park, which tends to make them geographically undesirable. This particular girl is in a program that one of my good friends recently graduated from, so I can speak semi-coherently on it with her. Always a bonus. She is smart, cute, and Southern (which is new to me), so she has managed to keep my attention for a couple dates. Last Saturday, we went on a date to celebrate her finishing her summer internship.
I had planned out all of our previous dates, and since she was the one who accomplished something, we brainstormed some ideas together. Eventually, we decided to celebrate the end of summer with a picnic at Millennium Park. It worked out well as they were having a free concert that night, the Lyric Opera House was presenting a sampling of their upcoming season. Even though I am not classy whatsoever, I do not abhor culture, so it was fine with me. She packed a picnic, I brought the physical supplies and a bottle of wine. We got a little luck with the weather, got a nice spot near the back, and had a great time. Though, you tend to talk over the free concerts at Millennium Park, but if you are near the back, everyone does it and it is fine. We could even see the Navy Pier fireworks during intermission.
So there you go, a real date where I was not an asshole and practically was a gentleman. She has been out at her parents the past week, so when she returns to the city, we shall see if this goes anywhere else.
September 8, 2007
Questions
The Top 10 Questions I Do Not Want To Be Asked on a First Date:
(inspired by this.)
- Does this look contagious?
- You’re a lawyer? Really? You?
- Want to hear about my roommate’s baby Jesus buttplug? (actually asked)
- I am so glad I am waiting for marriage, aren’t you?
- Do you want to know my ring size?
- Do you know what a zj is? Five dollars.
- Did you just fart?
- When is this over?
- Do you know the requirements for a greencard?
1. Do you have any single friends?
Edit: attempted to fix formatting. Decided i didn't really care. I guess writing in word and edit/copying over to blogger doesn't work too well for lists. Live and learn.
September 5, 2007
The Internet is Fun
A couple weekends ago, I was hanging out with some friends. We were playing Bomberman, wasting time until dinner and the play we were attending that night. My friends asked about my dating life, and I told them that I just had some random dates, nothing real. They decided I needed to post an ad on craigslist. I am not one to say no, so I told them to write one up and I would post it.
Given about a half hour, they managed to come up with something that can only be described as functionally retarded. The text of the ad was downright creepy. It made allusions to babies and dinners not yet made. It gave me the impression that I wanted to make babies and then make them into dinner and feed them to a women. To cap it off, they attached a picture of a small dog wrapped in a hot dog bun. I kept my word though, and posted the ad. Here are the responses:
No. 1: merely said, “How cute is the puppy???? 28 f wanna chat.”
I replied I was at work, and therefore could not. She offered to exchange pictures, so I thought I was in luck if she was eager to show herself to me. Then I received another e-mail with the attachment. It looked like she was going to eat her friends. I politely refused to email back.
No. 2: Called my post interesting. Then asked a series of get to know you type questions. Then claimed to be 28, single, professional and attractive. So I answered her questions and asked a few of my own. Apparently she did not like my comment that I was glad she was attractive, as attractive is better then ugly. She never wrote back.
No. 3: Wrote “that is by far the cutest pic but i bet you knew that when you put it onhere” in her e-mail. She clearly did not earn points for using anything that resembles proper English, but this was craigslist, so a slight handicap is to be expected. I decided to play cute with her and was very flirty in my responses. Also, I alluded to a foot fetish. For some reason, she continued to talk to me until I asked her for a picture. She was fatter then No. 1. I also declined to e-mail her back. She asked why. I claimed that I just got slammed at work. She knows why.
No. 4: Clearly was spam. However, I responded anyways. I even supplied a picture for her. I sent her a photo of a close play at home from the 1970s. I claimed I was Johny Bench. She responded that she was at work and couldn’t use her e-mail. We would have to logon to a special website to get to know each other better. I decided to draw the line with the spammer there.
No. 5: The last one came to the party a couple days late, with “That dog is so adorable!” I informed her that the dog was in danger due to the fact that only very large women appeared to be attracted to the ad. I feared for his safety of being eaten and therefore had him removed from the city.
For some reason, this one is still e-mailing me. I have swayed from being very vague to outright creepy. I made her establish a safe word (“sailboat”) after about 4 e-mails. I have gone on rants regarding, among other things: mustard, limericks, pirates, birth order, fetishes, and other.
For some reason, this seems to interest her. As she is not horribly ugly, I do not mind entertaining her. I find it slightly amusing to scare her such as. I fully expect her to proposition me at some point.
So there we go, that is what happens when you post something inane on craigslist. You get fat chicks and a girl who doesn’t know when to run.
Given about a half hour, they managed to come up with something that can only be described as functionally retarded. The text of the ad was downright creepy. It made allusions to babies and dinners not yet made. It gave me the impression that I wanted to make babies and then make them into dinner and feed them to a women. To cap it off, they attached a picture of a small dog wrapped in a hot dog bun. I kept my word though, and posted the ad. Here are the responses:
No. 1: merely said, “How cute is the puppy???? 28 f wanna chat.”
I replied I was at work, and therefore could not. She offered to exchange pictures, so I thought I was in luck if she was eager to show herself to me. Then I received another e-mail with the attachment. It looked like she was going to eat her friends. I politely refused to email back.
No. 2: Called my post interesting. Then asked a series of get to know you type questions. Then claimed to be 28, single, professional and attractive. So I answered her questions and asked a few of my own. Apparently she did not like my comment that I was glad she was attractive, as attractive is better then ugly. She never wrote back.
No. 3: Wrote “that is by far the cutest pic but i bet you knew that when you put it onhere” in her e-mail. She clearly did not earn points for using anything that resembles proper English, but this was craigslist, so a slight handicap is to be expected. I decided to play cute with her and was very flirty in my responses. Also, I alluded to a foot fetish. For some reason, she continued to talk to me until I asked her for a picture. She was fatter then No. 1. I also declined to e-mail her back. She asked why. I claimed that I just got slammed at work. She knows why.
No. 4: Clearly was spam. However, I responded anyways. I even supplied a picture for her. I sent her a photo of a close play at home from the 1970s. I claimed I was Johny Bench. She responded that she was at work and couldn’t use her e-mail. We would have to logon to a special website to get to know each other better. I decided to draw the line with the spammer there.
No. 5: The last one came to the party a couple days late, with “That dog is so adorable!” I informed her that the dog was in danger due to the fact that only very large women appeared to be attracted to the ad. I feared for his safety of being eaten and therefore had him removed from the city.
For some reason, this one is still e-mailing me. I have swayed from being very vague to outright creepy. I made her establish a safe word (“sailboat”) after about 4 e-mails. I have gone on rants regarding, among other things: mustard, limericks, pirates, birth order, fetishes, and other.
For some reason, this seems to interest her. As she is not horribly ugly, I do not mind entertaining her. I find it slightly amusing to scare her such as. I fully expect her to proposition me at some point.
So there we go, that is what happens when you post something inane on craigslist. You get fat chicks and a girl who doesn’t know when to run.
August 22, 2007
Special Guest Post
This is a story from Mr. A, a dear dear friend of mine. Mr. A lives out in Cali where he works for a start-up, which is kind of retro now, I think. Anyways, he asked that this story be shared, and as it is funny, I shall share it. Hopefully he will supply us with some more amusing west coast stories as his own dating adventures continue (as written to me, minor formatting edits):
i'm trying to get back into shape. turns out, its a lot harder than getting out of shape. but i'm getting back on a regular running schedule. there is a notorious intersection on the path i usually take which can take a long few minutes to cross. of course i get stopped nearly every time i go for a run, this time i had some company - an extremely attractive girl, in a random pair of 'look at my beautiful ass, it has words on it' shorts. i blurt out 'want to hail down a taxi to get to the other side?'. she ignores me. but i decided that day that i wasn't to be deterred so i said 'should've brought a deck of cards'. this time she looks at me and smiles, but doesn't say anything. for a man who has been walking in the desert, a smile is like a tall glass of water. i drank it in and said 'want to run together, it'll give you an ego boost?' and this time she takes off her headphones and says 'what?'. headphones! how could i have missed that??! why didn't she have the self-righteous white iPod headphones on? i'm such an idiot. so i repeat the last sentence a little half-heartedly, but she actually laughs and says 'sure, but i have a feeling you're the one whose going to walk awaywith a bigger ego.' i spend the rest of our short run together relating to her the first two things i had said and then explaining why i'm so out of shape, and listening to her out of shape story(almost certainly a lie told out of modesty). we have plans to go running together in a few days. i should really be looking forward to it. but, after i woke up the next morning with my entire body in pain from trying to keep up with her so i didn't look pathetic, i'm actually kind of dreading it.
i'm trying to get back into shape. turns out, its a lot harder than getting out of shape. but i'm getting back on a regular running schedule. there is a notorious intersection on the path i usually take which can take a long few minutes to cross. of course i get stopped nearly every time i go for a run, this time i had some company - an extremely attractive girl, in a random pair of 'look at my beautiful ass, it has words on it' shorts. i blurt out 'want to hail down a taxi to get to the other side?'. she ignores me. but i decided that day that i wasn't to be deterred so i said 'should've brought a deck of cards'. this time she looks at me and smiles, but doesn't say anything. for a man who has been walking in the desert, a smile is like a tall glass of water. i drank it in and said 'want to run together, it'll give you an ego boost?' and this time she takes off her headphones and says 'what?'. headphones! how could i have missed that??! why didn't she have the self-righteous white iPod headphones on? i'm such an idiot. so i repeat the last sentence a little half-heartedly, but she actually laughs and says 'sure, but i have a feeling you're the one whose going to walk awaywith a bigger ego.' i spend the rest of our short run together relating to her the first two things i had said and then explaining why i'm so out of shape, and listening to her out of shape story(almost certainly a lie told out of modesty). we have plans to go running together in a few days. i should really be looking forward to it. but, after i woke up the next morning with my entire body in pain from trying to keep up with her so i didn't look pathetic, i'm actually kind of dreading it.
August 18, 2007
Wait, What?
Somehow I got "dumped" by a girl i wasn't dating?
A friend that I had been hanging out with, doing date-ish type stuff, figured out that we were not going to ever date. I thought she was aware of that, in fact she basically said so herself. However, apparently she changed her mind. So now she doesn't want to hang out for awhile.
It is annoying, because now I don't have anyone to go watch certain movies or do other "couple" activities with.
On the brighter side, my night last night ended at Clarks Dogs at 4 am eating hot dogs with a couple cute sisters. Amusing night.
A friend that I had been hanging out with, doing date-ish type stuff, figured out that we were not going to ever date. I thought she was aware of that, in fact she basically said so herself. However, apparently she changed her mind. So now she doesn't want to hang out for awhile.
It is annoying, because now I don't have anyone to go watch certain movies or do other "couple" activities with.
On the brighter side, my night last night ended at Clarks Dogs at 4 am eating hot dogs with a couple cute sisters. Amusing night.
August 15, 2007
Evil Facebook
Ok, Facebook is evil, we all know that.
However, it has come to my attention that LTR has various photos of me still up on her profile. There are from various parties, our trip to Vegas, etc.
So I wonder what is the etiquette of this? What happens when she befriends a new guy and he looks at her page? How does she explain her being in Sin City with such a handsome man? Isn't that just awkward? I really think you should remove any couple-ish photos. Photos of me in a group, sure. But photos of us holding the dog? Strange.
A further complication is that I didn't have a facebook profile while dating LTR. I just got one recently as part of a separate social experiment. I think I can befriend one person and get to all my groups of friends through her, my hometown friends, high school friends, college, etc. Law school is the only potential issue, but really, lawyers suck, so I don't care. Anyways, that means that I am not tagged in any of the photos. Now I have a profile. So the question is, what happens if I go tag myself in her photos?
However, it has come to my attention that LTR has various photos of me still up on her profile. There are from various parties, our trip to Vegas, etc.
So I wonder what is the etiquette of this? What happens when she befriends a new guy and he looks at her page? How does she explain her being in Sin City with such a handsome man? Isn't that just awkward? I really think you should remove any couple-ish photos. Photos of me in a group, sure. But photos of us holding the dog? Strange.
A further complication is that I didn't have a facebook profile while dating LTR. I just got one recently as part of a separate social experiment. I think I can befriend one person and get to all my groups of friends through her, my hometown friends, high school friends, college, etc. Law school is the only potential issue, but really, lawyers suck, so I don't care. Anyways, that means that I am not tagged in any of the photos. Now I have a profile. So the question is, what happens if I go tag myself in her photos?
August 14, 2007
My New Crush
I went to the Rentals concert tonight. Just got back.
And I have a new crush. One of the new female vocalists/guitarists/mooger/etc, Sara Radle. She was great. Completely fit into a band that has been a favorite of mine since high school.
But yeah, she was gorgeous and rocked it. She is my new crush.
August 13, 2007
Silly Cookie
I was on another pseudo-date with my friend that I go on pseudo-dates with. I think we both are liking the arrangement of having someone to do certain couple-ish things with, because let's face it, brunch and the zoo are awesome. However, sometimes I think she gets a little uneasy about the fact that we never actually discuss how we just go on dates but aren't dating. She asks some pointed questions and gets a funny look on her face and then drops it.
We went to a weekend matinee in the theater and then went to dinner. We went to a chinese restaurant, so of course we got fortune cookies with the bill. I actually like the taste of fortune cookies. I find them delicious. I liked it when my family used to buy the giant bag of fortune cookie rejects. Simply delicious.
Anyways, our fortunes:
Mine: You will have a long talk soon.
Hers: You will have a romantic encounter today.
Neither one really helped the situation.
We went to a weekend matinee in the theater and then went to dinner. We went to a chinese restaurant, so of course we got fortune cookies with the bill. I actually like the taste of fortune cookies. I find them delicious. I liked it when my family used to buy the giant bag of fortune cookie rejects. Simply delicious.
Anyways, our fortunes:
Mine: You will have a long talk soon.
Hers: You will have a romantic encounter today.
Neither one really helped the situation.
August 9, 2007
7th Floor Girl
As I walked from the el to my building after a hard days work on Monday, I noticed an attractive girl walking on the other side of the street. I thought to myself, "It would be swell if she lived in my building."
As luck would have it, she apparently does. We arrived at the door roughly at the same time. We walked in, both went to the mailboxes and then to the elevators. As an added bonus, she went to the bank for the lower floors like mine. Once we got in the elevator, with another guy, we exchanged smiles, and hers was very pretty.
It was a pleasant bonus, as she was by far the best looking girl that I have seen that lives here. Which is a pretty good compliment.
This morning, I woke up early to do my laundry, showered, got dressed and started my day. I pushed the down button, and as luck would have it, she was in the elevator again. She gave me another smile when I stepped in, which I returned. As it was the morning, I already had my iPod on and the elevator was crowded, I left it at that.
Afterwards, I began to worry that perhaps you only get so many smiles before you are written off. Or perhaps you would continue to get smiles, but that would set the limit, you couldn't move past them. I figured I had some time, as it is pretty random to bump into the same person, especially when I had never seen her before (I am pretty sure I would remember).
However, today on my way home, I looked up and saw her again walking to the door at about the same time as I was arriving. This time she was on her phone ahead of me. She stopped to check out the prices in the beauty shop on our first floor and I passed her. I went and got the door and held it for her. As she entered she said, "How do I keep bumping into you?"
I responded, "I don't know, I guess I'm just lucky." I am not sure if the last part was sweet, suave, creepy or what, but I don't think it matters as she was again on the phone and I don't think she heard me. We again went to the mailboxes and the elevator bank. Other people got on the elevator, including a women in a wheelchair. So we let that one go by and made some small talk. Quickly we got in an empty elevator and went to our respective floors. I took the opportunity to introduce myself, as I only go a few floors. So now I have her name.
After I went for my run (stupid shin splint, you hurt me), I showered and ran to the store. As I passed the beauty shop, she was in there getting a pedicure. I got a smile and a wave.
So I am on first name, smile and wave basis. Just have to figure out how to move to the next couple steps. Should be fun.
As luck would have it, she apparently does. We arrived at the door roughly at the same time. We walked in, both went to the mailboxes and then to the elevators. As an added bonus, she went to the bank for the lower floors like mine. Once we got in the elevator, with another guy, we exchanged smiles, and hers was very pretty.
It was a pleasant bonus, as she was by far the best looking girl that I have seen that lives here. Which is a pretty good compliment.
This morning, I woke up early to do my laundry, showered, got dressed and started my day. I pushed the down button, and as luck would have it, she was in the elevator again. She gave me another smile when I stepped in, which I returned. As it was the morning, I already had my iPod on and the elevator was crowded, I left it at that.
Afterwards, I began to worry that perhaps you only get so many smiles before you are written off. Or perhaps you would continue to get smiles, but that would set the limit, you couldn't move past them. I figured I had some time, as it is pretty random to bump into the same person, especially when I had never seen her before (I am pretty sure I would remember).
However, today on my way home, I looked up and saw her again walking to the door at about the same time as I was arriving. This time she was on her phone ahead of me. She stopped to check out the prices in the beauty shop on our first floor and I passed her. I went and got the door and held it for her. As she entered she said, "How do I keep bumping into you?"
I responded, "I don't know, I guess I'm just lucky." I am not sure if the last part was sweet, suave, creepy or what, but I don't think it matters as she was again on the phone and I don't think she heard me. We again went to the mailboxes and the elevator bank. Other people got on the elevator, including a women in a wheelchair. So we let that one go by and made some small talk. Quickly we got in an empty elevator and went to our respective floors. I took the opportunity to introduce myself, as I only go a few floors. So now I have her name.
After I went for my run (stupid shin splint, you hurt me), I showered and ran to the store. As I passed the beauty shop, she was in there getting a pedicure. I got a smile and a wave.
So I am on first name, smile and wave basis. Just have to figure out how to move to the next couple steps. Should be fun.
August 7, 2007
Me 1, blogger 0
Haha!
I fixed the language thing! I wonder how i got that set to albanian?
Small victories.
I fixed the language thing! I wonder how i got that set to albanian?
Small victories.
August 2, 2007
How Other People Are Wrong
There are two things that truly bother me in dating at the moment:
a) Being told "You can do better", and
b) People with lists.
Really, it is the same issue. They both presume that love is some sort of objective standard. The lists are clearly that, those people are not looking to make a connection, they are looking for a recipe. It has been explained to me that the purpose of the list is to make sure you don't settle for someone that is less then you deserve. To me, however, they just ensure that you will never be happy. Once you list off five objective facts, you are going to narrow the possibility of finding someone to the point that looking is pointless. You will meet potentially great people that fall just short of one of your randomly selected factors and that will wipe out all the amazing facets of the person that you didn't consider in your list. Personally, I have two objective things when I look at a potential date: 1) no smokers, and 2) no fatties. I am comfortable with that because I am pretty certain I am still considering a large population.
[An aside, besides the obvious reasons, I won't date smokers because I grew up in a house where both my parents smoked. That seems to either make the children into smokers or hardcore against smoking, my sisters and I all turned out against it. This summer, my mom promised to quit smoking starting on my birthday. So far, she has kept her promise. Go mom! I am proud of you! and if you ever read this, I will be very embarrassed.]
The same objective issue arises when you look to "do better". When things ended with LTR, I was fairly depressed. A couple friends told me to not worry, that I could do better. At that time, I did not want to do better. I had loved her, and losing that love hurt. I now refuse to tell people they could do better. It doesn't matter if you could go date someone more attractive, taller, better educated, blah, etc. All that matters is that if that person makes you happy. Perhaps I am overly romantic and a sissyman, but that is how I feel. Of course, this doesn't stop me from being an asshole.
Ok, silly rant over.
I may be going on a date tonight. Depending on if her flight lands at a reasonable hour and if it can be construed as a "date". I'm not sure if I want it to be one or not, objectively she is great, but see above for how much I care about the objective.
a) Being told "You can do better", and
b) People with lists.
Really, it is the same issue. They both presume that love is some sort of objective standard. The lists are clearly that, those people are not looking to make a connection, they are looking for a recipe. It has been explained to me that the purpose of the list is to make sure you don't settle for someone that is less then you deserve. To me, however, they just ensure that you will never be happy. Once you list off five objective facts, you are going to narrow the possibility of finding someone to the point that looking is pointless. You will meet potentially great people that fall just short of one of your randomly selected factors and that will wipe out all the amazing facets of the person that you didn't consider in your list. Personally, I have two objective things when I look at a potential date: 1) no smokers, and 2) no fatties. I am comfortable with that because I am pretty certain I am still considering a large population.
[An aside, besides the obvious reasons, I won't date smokers because I grew up in a house where both my parents smoked. That seems to either make the children into smokers or hardcore against smoking, my sisters and I all turned out against it. This summer, my mom promised to quit smoking starting on my birthday. So far, she has kept her promise. Go mom! I am proud of you! and if you ever read this, I will be very embarrassed.]
The same objective issue arises when you look to "do better". When things ended with LTR, I was fairly depressed. A couple friends told me to not worry, that I could do better. At that time, I did not want to do better. I had loved her, and losing that love hurt. I now refuse to tell people they could do better. It doesn't matter if you could go date someone more attractive, taller, better educated, blah, etc. All that matters is that if that person makes you happy. Perhaps I am overly romantic and a sissyman, but that is how I feel. Of course, this doesn't stop me from being an asshole.
Ok, silly rant over.
I may be going on a date tonight. Depending on if her flight lands at a reasonable hour and if it can be construed as a "date". I'm not sure if I want it to be one or not, objectively she is great, but see above for how much I care about the objective.
August 1, 2007
I am a Slacker
Sorry I have been so lax lately. Life gets busy sometimes. Sometimes I have to actually earn those paychecks.
I feel an emotional monolouge coming on soon. So the next post will probably be lame when I get around to writing it.
Until then, a quote:
"... We are all, in our own way, completely and totally alone. If love is real, it is a complete and total failing of the intellect. It is utter self-destruction. It is pandemonium.'
'Yes, thank you, sir.'
'It is my pleasure, Billy."
-The Boy Detective Fails, Joe Meno
I feel an emotional monolouge coming on soon. So the next post will probably be lame when I get around to writing it.
Until then, a quote:
"... We are all, in our own way, completely and totally alone. If love is real, it is a complete and total failing of the intellect. It is utter self-destruction. It is pandemonium.'
'Yes, thank you, sir.'
'It is my pleasure, Billy."
-The Boy Detective Fails, Joe Meno
July 26, 2007
Bad SPAM copy
A little crude humor.
I clicked on my SPAM folder and saw the subject line of:
Get A Visit from the Big Dick Fairy
I don't think that means what they want it to mean.
Or maybe it does, i didn't open the e-mail.
But the contrasting mental images I have in my mind are hilarious.
I clicked on my SPAM folder and saw the subject line of:
Get A Visit from the Big Dick Fairy
I don't think that means what they want it to mean.
Or maybe it does, i didn't open the e-mail.
But the contrasting mental images I have in my mind are hilarious.
July 24, 2007
Stupid Lines
So in the past week I've hung out with the same girl on three seperate occassions. We went to the Decemberists concert, we watched a movie, and we went swimming at my buildings pool. These were all done under the context of being friends, I've known her for years but we've never been close. In fact, we went years without talking and recently bumped into each other.
The problem now is that each of those occassions could be considered a date. And not just due to the nature of what we did, but how we did it. To complicate it further, we are going to a Sox game next weekend with one of her friends, who I have meet before under the context of "check out my friend, she is cool, maybe you should date her". I got an e-mail from my friend saying, "oh yeah, flirt away has now become flirt when I am not around".
Luckily she is out of town till the weekend, so I have some time to figure out what exactly is going on. Of course, I won't figure it out by then, that is obvious. But I have the time.
The problem now is that each of those occassions could be considered a date. And not just due to the nature of what we did, but how we did it. To complicate it further, we are going to a Sox game next weekend with one of her friends, who I have meet before under the context of "check out my friend, she is cool, maybe you should date her". I got an e-mail from my friend saying, "oh yeah, flirt away has now become flirt when I am not around".
Luckily she is out of town till the weekend, so I have some time to figure out what exactly is going on. Of course, I won't figure it out by then, that is obvious. But I have the time.
July 20, 2007
That wasn't planned
The Decemberists concert was great. A little rain in the beginning, but after that stopped, it was just music and wine.
Afterwards, I walked with a friend to her place. We were planning to just drop off some stuff, let her change, and then head to a bar. However, it was pouring rain again when we got ready to leave, so we decided to have a glass of wine before leaving. Or maybe a bottle. Or maybe two bottles.
Long story short, smart and hot girls are definetely more fun. I'll stick with them.
Afterwards, I walked with a friend to her place. We were planning to just drop off some stuff, let her change, and then head to a bar. However, it was pouring rain again when we got ready to leave, so we decided to have a glass of wine before leaving. Or maybe a bottle. Or maybe two bottles.
Long story short, smart and hot girls are definetely more fun. I'll stick with them.
July 15, 2007
Weekend Away
I have returned to the City after a weekend out on the farm.
We celebrated my Dad's 60th birthday, I got to see my sisters and their kids, and we celebrated my birthday, or at least gave me gifts.
As imagined, not much related to stuff that goes here from a weekend with family. However, there is one story, while, it is actually hearsay. Honestly, it is double-hearsay, but I'm the only attorney here so it doesn't matter.
A family friend (or whatever you call your parents' friends) was shopping in one of the local grocery stores and overheard a women on her cell phone (yes, even in the country people are stupid and rude with cell phones). This is what he heard:
"I am going to set my daughter up with *theguy* because he is a doctor or a lawyer or something. I know he likes the smart girls."
This is strange for many reasons beyond the obvious. Here are some:
- The family friend knows the same people my family knows, but he did not know this women.
- His wife works at the schools, but he did not know this women.
- He has a daughter who was in the same grade as me, but he did not know this women.
- I haven't spent more then a couple months in my hometown since after freshmen year of college.
- I stopped going to school there after freshmen year of high school.
- Basically, anyone I know still in town, knows my family.
So as far as I can tell, some lady who I don't know has decided that I would be a good match for her daughter, despite not knowing me or even what I do for a living. Further, she has decided that I will find her daughter "smart", again, despite not knowing me and how I define "smart". Further, is her daughter hot?
I am really curious to see if I get any random contacts from a middle-aged lady from my hometown.
We celebrated my Dad's 60th birthday, I got to see my sisters and their kids, and we celebrated my birthday, or at least gave me gifts.
As imagined, not much related to stuff that goes here from a weekend with family. However, there is one story, while, it is actually hearsay. Honestly, it is double-hearsay, but I'm the only attorney here so it doesn't matter.
A family friend (or whatever you call your parents' friends) was shopping in one of the local grocery stores and overheard a women on her cell phone (yes, even in the country people are stupid and rude with cell phones). This is what he heard:
"I am going to set my daughter up with *theguy* because he is a doctor or a lawyer or something. I know he likes the smart girls."
This is strange for many reasons beyond the obvious. Here are some:
- The family friend knows the same people my family knows, but he did not know this women.
- His wife works at the schools, but he did not know this women.
- He has a daughter who was in the same grade as me, but he did not know this women.
- I haven't spent more then a couple months in my hometown since after freshmen year of college.
- I stopped going to school there after freshmen year of high school.
- Basically, anyone I know still in town, knows my family.
So as far as I can tell, some lady who I don't know has decided that I would be a good match for her daughter, despite not knowing me or even what I do for a living. Further, she has decided that I will find her daughter "smart", again, despite not knowing me and how I define "smart". Further, is her daughter hot?
I am really curious to see if I get any random contacts from a middle-aged lady from my hometown.
July 13, 2007
Courtroom Fashion
I just returned from court. I had just one call to check in on today, and I was just there to confirm that an order went through. Going to court is nothing like the average person thinks it is. 95% of the time, it is just boring. A room full of lawyers just sitting there waiting to say hi to judge, bitch about something pointless that the other side is or isn't doing, get a date to return, and bill twice the time that this all takes to their clients.
However, you can at least look at a room full of lawyers. Not to get into fashion, as that is not my forte (I'll leave that to my cousin-in-law who runs one of the major fashion blogs on the Internet). The range of fashion is impressive. Not so much on the men, as they are either "suit" or "sports jacket". Not much else going on, unless you really like to debate ties. For me, as long as your tie points to the right area, I won't give you much gruff.
The ladies on the other hand, they are all over the place. You have the ones who are trying to be young and girly, and wear multi-colored outfits. You have the ones that are trying to be as good as a man with a power pants suit. You have the ones who apparently only dress like sluts, with short skirts and fishnets. Today I saw one that I swear was just wearing a male suit jacket, a wrinkly shirt and a skirt. I'm not really sure what the ladies are doing sometimes.
As for me, I fall in the "sports jacket" group usually. This is because I go to court randomly, thus don't need to wear a suit everyday. Therefore, I just keep a jacket and a bunch of ties in my office and put them on as needed (court or clients).
As for my preference with the ladies, I prefer the classic skirt suit. When done right, it is powerful and still attractive. It makes them look good, professional, and doesn't distract in inappropriate ways (I'm looking at you, pants suit, and the way you fit some asses so nicely). Also, not all lawyers are physically beautiful, so it helps that the skirt suit fits more variety of bodies.
Of course, as I have sworn off female lawyers, this is all just eye candy.
However, you can at least look at a room full of lawyers. Not to get into fashion, as that is not my forte (I'll leave that to my cousin-in-law who runs one of the major fashion blogs on the Internet). The range of fashion is impressive. Not so much on the men, as they are either "suit" or "sports jacket". Not much else going on, unless you really like to debate ties. For me, as long as your tie points to the right area, I won't give you much gruff.
The ladies on the other hand, they are all over the place. You have the ones who are trying to be young and girly, and wear multi-colored outfits. You have the ones that are trying to be as good as a man with a power pants suit. You have the ones who apparently only dress like sluts, with short skirts and fishnets. Today I saw one that I swear was just wearing a male suit jacket, a wrinkly shirt and a skirt. I'm not really sure what the ladies are doing sometimes.
As for me, I fall in the "sports jacket" group usually. This is because I go to court randomly, thus don't need to wear a suit everyday. Therefore, I just keep a jacket and a bunch of ties in my office and put them on as needed (court or clients).
As for my preference with the ladies, I prefer the classic skirt suit. When done right, it is powerful and still attractive. It makes them look good, professional, and doesn't distract in inappropriate ways (I'm looking at you, pants suit, and the way you fit some asses so nicely). Also, not all lawyers are physically beautiful, so it helps that the skirt suit fits more variety of bodies.
Of course, as I have sworn off female lawyers, this is all just eye candy.
Out of town for the weekend
I am headed out of town for the weekend. So hopefully I will have no new stories, as I am visiting my family. Sadly, there might be some personally embarrassing questions asked. So there might be.
If i am bored and lonely in the small town that I grew up in, I'll post the date from the girl I picked up on the el. It entertains me.
Also, it is my birthday, so eat some cake for me.
If i am bored and lonely in the small town that I grew up in, I'll post the date from the girl I picked up on the el. It entertains me.
Also, it is my birthday, so eat some cake for me.
July 8, 2007
Brunch and Zoo, at least the animals covered up my smell
On Friday, I went to the Taste with a friend. She works as a consultant and had the day off, as consultants never actually do any work as far as I can tell.
After listening to some live music, drinking some beers, and of course sampling many Taste food (I really enjoyed the Cajun sausage balls), we went and got some drinks in River North. Talking over the beer, she asked if I would like to meet one of her co-workers, L. I said sure, though I did remind her that I am an asshole. I imagined drinks sometime in like two weeks or something. Turns out she meant brunch on Sunday.
So I get a text this morning with a time and place and I hop on the bus. After I get off, I fiddle with my bag and then start walking to the brunch spot. I stop to turn left at a stop light, and get into a girl's way, as she tries to turn right. I excuse myself, get out of her way and wait for the light. A moment later, she is back at the light. At this point, I get the suspicion that this is the friend. It was just one of those feelings that you get, and you would bet money on it. However, what do you do in that situation? Do you introduce yourself? I didn't know, so I just followed behind her towards the restaurant. My suspicion was somewhat confirmed when the girl entered. I followed her, but couldn't catch her name as she put herself on the list. I decided to go outside and wait for our mutual friend. A little later, she showed up. And I was right, that was her friend L. Thankfully, we had been there short enough that we didn't have to talk about the fact that we were both there. Also, we had to figure out how to lock up the bike that my friend rode (in 95+ degree heat). Always a good distraction.
Anyways, we ate brunch, they talked about work people a lot. I actually knew several of the people they were talking about. One was a good friend of LTR. So that threw me. I decided to say nothing about it, as it would just lead to awkward stuff. Also, I have no idea what that friend's opinion of me is, so if I decided to get a date or something with L, that could be bad. However, they were also discussing how L had gone to a wedding, and something went wrong, so instead of spending a week on the coast, she visited her sister in Nebraska or something. I can't imagine getting mad at a friend like that, so she may have a boyfriend significant enough to go to a coastal wedding. Which makes me wonder why my friend wanted to introduce us.
But then we went to the zoo. It was amusing. It was also very hot. We just looked at the bears and then went all our separate ways. I'll talk to my friend again before deciding if I want to ask for L's number or anything. She was cute, though kinda had the "little girl, big flat butt" thing going. Though, with the weather, I'm willing to cut some slack on people wearing not flattering pants if they are cooler. So we'll see, it all depends on if she has a nice ass.
After listening to some live music, drinking some beers, and of course sampling many Taste food (I really enjoyed the Cajun sausage balls), we went and got some drinks in River North. Talking over the beer, she asked if I would like to meet one of her co-workers, L. I said sure, though I did remind her that I am an asshole. I imagined drinks sometime in like two weeks or something. Turns out she meant brunch on Sunday.
So I get a text this morning with a time and place and I hop on the bus. After I get off, I fiddle with my bag and then start walking to the brunch spot. I stop to turn left at a stop light, and get into a girl's way, as she tries to turn right. I excuse myself, get out of her way and wait for the light. A moment later, she is back at the light. At this point, I get the suspicion that this is the friend. It was just one of those feelings that you get, and you would bet money on it. However, what do you do in that situation? Do you introduce yourself? I didn't know, so I just followed behind her towards the restaurant. My suspicion was somewhat confirmed when the girl entered. I followed her, but couldn't catch her name as she put herself on the list. I decided to go outside and wait for our mutual friend. A little later, she showed up. And I was right, that was her friend L. Thankfully, we had been there short enough that we didn't have to talk about the fact that we were both there. Also, we had to figure out how to lock up the bike that my friend rode (in 95+ degree heat). Always a good distraction.
Anyways, we ate brunch, they talked about work people a lot. I actually knew several of the people they were talking about. One was a good friend of LTR. So that threw me. I decided to say nothing about it, as it would just lead to awkward stuff. Also, I have no idea what that friend's opinion of me is, so if I decided to get a date or something with L, that could be bad. However, they were also discussing how L had gone to a wedding, and something went wrong, so instead of spending a week on the coast, she visited her sister in Nebraska or something. I can't imagine getting mad at a friend like that, so she may have a boyfriend significant enough to go to a coastal wedding. Which makes me wonder why my friend wanted to introduce us.
But then we went to the zoo. It was amusing. It was also very hot. We just looked at the bears and then went all our separate ways. I'll talk to my friend again before deciding if I want to ask for L's number or anything. She was cute, though kinda had the "little girl, big flat butt" thing going. Though, with the weather, I'm willing to cut some slack on people wearing not flattering pants if they are cooler. So we'll see, it all depends on if she has a nice ass.
July 5, 2007
This Week
This week looks socially boring. More seeing friends then seeing new ladies.
I will try to post some stories that happened between breaking up with LTR and starting this blog. Or perhaps my efforts to blow off the dumb, chubby, 23 year old girl. We'll see if she takes a hint.
Also, feel free to comment on my dating styles with constructive criticisms or even dares. Alternatively, let me know what types of stories you enjoy the most. Life Coach wants me to try and date every race (or at least have sex with). We'll see on that one.
I will try to post some stories that happened between breaking up with LTR and starting this blog. Or perhaps my efforts to blow off the dumb, chubby, 23 year old girl. We'll see if she takes a hint.
Also, feel free to comment on my dating styles with constructive criticisms or even dares. Alternatively, let me know what types of stories you enjoy the most. Life Coach wants me to try and date every race (or at least have sex with). We'll see on that one.
July 3, 2007
Friends get Married, I get Drunk
Sorry, I skipped my Friday night, which actually had an effect (affect, whatever, I hate English) on last night's story.
Two of my friends from high school got married. They did not start dating until well after they graduated college. I had actually hooked up with the girl at the end of high school, and came close a couple of times after college. I didn't because of LTR, great call there.
Regardless, after the ceremony, I went and found my table at the reception. It was a table of 6, thank god. The tables were originally supposed to be for 8 and that would have put me with an annoying couple that I introduced to the married couple and some loser boyfriend of a bridesmaid. Instead my five tablemates were 1) a friend from high school (MC), 2 & 3) another friend from high school and his girlfriend, but they left after the ceremony, 4) a girlfriend of a friend from high school serving as a groomsmen, and 5) another groomsman's girlfriend. As MC and myself were both single, this arrangement was less then ideal. But then we looked around and realized there was one single bridesmaid, the Maid of Honor (who MC had dated in high school/college) and that was it for single ladies. Unless you are into the pre-teenage thing, which I am not yet.
Apparently the two ladies at our table had been informed that they would be entertained. I do not think MC and I disappointed. Both of us are willing to make cheap jokes about ourselves, our friends, people we just meet, and people we don't know. Neither one of us has any shame, nor much class. Also, there was an open bar.
As I knew the bride, I had to drink. As I knew the groom, I had to drink more. As there were no single girls, I had to drink a lot. I was actually well behaved during the actual reception. Well, besides some trash talks to some 10 year old who beat me at cornhole, but that's just the way you play the game. At the end of the night, we grabbed some extra champagne and headed to the best men's room.
I went up in my suit, not bothering to change. Once I was up there, I emptied out my pockets on the window sill and started to drink. At some point, the girl I had gone out on a date with on Monday (See: Butt Plug) sent me a text message regarding a joke about STDs a friend of hers had made. It was pretty stupid, definitely not funny. At the time, I am pretty sure I was busy trying to hit MC in the nuts, as is required by the code. Therefore, the girl from my table (#5 above) decided to answer for me. "Do you have the herp?"
Response, "No, but thanks for asking by text"
"Are you sure?"
.... no response. and I was supposed to see her again on Monday to decide if she was worth messing around with.
That's pretty much the last thing i remember. The following things happened, as far as I can tell by piecing together what i was told, pictures, text messages, lack of clothing, and bruises:
-MC and I continue to play cock punch.
-Life Coach is told the wedding is "Cockpunchtastic"
-MC and Maid of Honor "woo" each other
-MC and Maid of Honor decide to go have sex in the room being shared by MC and me
-I declare myself sexciled
-I decide I am sleeping in the best man's room
-I decide I am going to bed
-I remove my pants, dress shirt, and tie and go to bed
-Everyone else leaves half-naked me
-I wake up at 5 am and decide I need to return to my room
-Hotel staff helps me find my room
-Maid of Honor eventually hears me knocking and lets me in
-I wake up
-I have no clue where my pants are
-Receive text message from Monday's date, asking if i was drunk because I "sent some real jerk texts"
-I go to brunch, chipper then most other people and openly make fun of the bridesmaid who hooked up with my friend, ignoring my own behavior.
Moral of the story: If you want to get invited back to the hotel where you have your wedding party stay, invite some single girls.
Two of my friends from high school got married. They did not start dating until well after they graduated college. I had actually hooked up with the girl at the end of high school, and came close a couple of times after college. I didn't because of LTR, great call there.
Regardless, after the ceremony, I went and found my table at the reception. It was a table of 6, thank god. The tables were originally supposed to be for 8 and that would have put me with an annoying couple that I introduced to the married couple and some loser boyfriend of a bridesmaid. Instead my five tablemates were 1) a friend from high school (MC), 2 & 3) another friend from high school and his girlfriend, but they left after the ceremony, 4) a girlfriend of a friend from high school serving as a groomsmen, and 5) another groomsman's girlfriend. As MC and myself were both single, this arrangement was less then ideal. But then we looked around and realized there was one single bridesmaid, the Maid of Honor (who MC had dated in high school/college) and that was it for single ladies. Unless you are into the pre-teenage thing, which I am not yet.
Apparently the two ladies at our table had been informed that they would be entertained. I do not think MC and I disappointed. Both of us are willing to make cheap jokes about ourselves, our friends, people we just meet, and people we don't know. Neither one of us has any shame, nor much class. Also, there was an open bar.
As I knew the bride, I had to drink. As I knew the groom, I had to drink more. As there were no single girls, I had to drink a lot. I was actually well behaved during the actual reception. Well, besides some trash talks to some 10 year old who beat me at cornhole, but that's just the way you play the game. At the end of the night, we grabbed some extra champagne and headed to the best men's room.
I went up in my suit, not bothering to change. Once I was up there, I emptied out my pockets on the window sill and started to drink. At some point, the girl I had gone out on a date with on Monday (See: Butt Plug) sent me a text message regarding a joke about STDs a friend of hers had made. It was pretty stupid, definitely not funny. At the time, I am pretty sure I was busy trying to hit MC in the nuts, as is required by the code. Therefore, the girl from my table (#5 above) decided to answer for me. "Do you have the herp?"
Response, "No, but thanks for asking by text"
"Are you sure?"
.... no response. and I was supposed to see her again on Monday to decide if she was worth messing around with.
That's pretty much the last thing i remember. The following things happened, as far as I can tell by piecing together what i was told, pictures, text messages, lack of clothing, and bruises:
-MC and I continue to play cock punch.
-Life Coach is told the wedding is "Cockpunchtastic"
-MC and Maid of Honor "woo" each other
-MC and Maid of Honor decide to go have sex in the room being shared by MC and me
-I declare myself sexciled
-I decide I am sleeping in the best man's room
-I decide I am going to bed
-I remove my pants, dress shirt, and tie and go to bed
-Everyone else leaves half-naked me
-I wake up at 5 am and decide I need to return to my room
-Hotel staff helps me find my room
-Maid of Honor eventually hears me knocking and lets me in
-I wake up
-I have no clue where my pants are
-Receive text message from Monday's date, asking if i was drunk because I "sent some real jerk texts"
-I go to brunch, chipper then most other people and openly make fun of the bridesmaid who hooked up with my friend, ignoring my own behavior.
Moral of the story: If you want to get invited back to the hotel where you have your wedding party stay, invite some single girls.
That was dumb
Seriously.
If I wanted a handjob, I'd go jackoff in the bathroom. I'm out of your league and you better recognize that. And what 23 year old has never had an orgasm before?
I'll calling it a slumpbuster and moving on.
If I wanted a handjob, I'd go jackoff in the bathroom. I'm out of your league and you better recognize that. And what 23 year old has never had an orgasm before?
I'll calling it a slumpbuster and moving on.
July 1, 2007
Sushi Lunch
On Thursday, I had my sushi lunch with the women who posted a missed connection to me on Craigslist.
I showed a little late, I am classy like that. I vaguely recognize a girl standing outside the restaurant. I walk up and introduce myself. We step into the store, grab some sushi (I went with the spicy white tuna) and water and head over to the Art Institute to eat in the garden.
The girl was cuter then I remembered. We actually managed to keep a conversation going for the entire hour. I am always worried about that when I meet new people. However, either she is intelligent, or I am awesome, because that didn't seem to be a problem. We sat and talked long after the sushi was gone.
The two downsides to this girl: 1) she is apparently 30 and if she has "experience" I probably could not satisfy and 2) she is a lawyer. I don't want to date lawyers, I am a self-hating attorney. Sadly, I seem to keep meeting them. There are way too many. Or I need to find where the doctors hang out. To the ER I go.
I showed a little late, I am classy like that. I vaguely recognize a girl standing outside the restaurant. I walk up and introduce myself. We step into the store, grab some sushi (I went with the spicy white tuna) and water and head over to the Art Institute to eat in the garden.
The girl was cuter then I remembered. We actually managed to keep a conversation going for the entire hour. I am always worried about that when I meet new people. However, either she is intelligent, or I am awesome, because that didn't seem to be a problem. We sat and talked long after the sushi was gone.
The two downsides to this girl: 1) she is apparently 30 and if she has "experience" I probably could not satisfy and 2) she is a lawyer. I don't want to date lawyers, I am a self-hating attorney. Sadly, I seem to keep meeting them. There are way too many. Or I need to find where the doctors hang out. To the ER I go.
June 30, 2007
Butt Plug
Last Monday, I went on a date with a random girl that I didn't know at all.
When we set up the date, she said she wanted to go to a specific bar because they had dollar drafts. That should have been a sign. I suggust getting dinner first and pick a small thai place near the bar.
When I show up at the restaurant, I discover that it is apparantly closed on Mondays. Thankfully this does not bother the girl. We merely just walk down the street to another Thai restaurant, as there is a Thai restaurant roughly every other building in Lakeview.
After we order, she launches into a long story about her roommate. Apparantly the roommate had spent the other night attempting to get guys' attention by loudly talking about all her sex toys, specifically her butt plug. My logic was, if that was annoying/strange to you then, how would the story not be the same to me?
That type of attitude was typical of the entire date. It was difficult to read her signals, as she seemed to mix them up with stories of other people.
I don't think there is a lot of potential here. She hasn't graduated college, despite being old enough to. She hasn't even picked out her major yet. Nor did she really strike me as that intelligent, which is a quality usually held by women who interest me. Also, I am not sure if she is physically attractive. She was definetly bigger then most of the girls I date, but I don't think she is fat in any way. Big boobs can be fun, right?
When we set up the date, she said she wanted to go to a specific bar because they had dollar drafts. That should have been a sign. I suggust getting dinner first and pick a small thai place near the bar.
When I show up at the restaurant, I discover that it is apparantly closed on Mondays. Thankfully this does not bother the girl. We merely just walk down the street to another Thai restaurant, as there is a Thai restaurant roughly every other building in Lakeview.
After we order, she launches into a long story about her roommate. Apparantly the roommate had spent the other night attempting to get guys' attention by loudly talking about all her sex toys, specifically her butt plug. My logic was, if that was annoying/strange to you then, how would the story not be the same to me?
That type of attitude was typical of the entire date. It was difficult to read her signals, as she seemed to mix them up with stories of other people.
I don't think there is a lot of potential here. She hasn't graduated college, despite being old enough to. She hasn't even picked out her major yet. Nor did she really strike me as that intelligent, which is a quality usually held by women who interest me. Also, I am not sure if she is physically attractive. She was definetly bigger then most of the girls I date, but I don't think she is fat in any way. Big boobs can be fun, right?
Long Week
It has been a long week, very active.
The highlights include:
Monday - date
Thursday -Sushi Lunch
Friday - Friends' Wedding
I'll post about each of them seperately.
The highlights include:
Monday - date
Thursday -Sushi Lunch
Friday - Friends' Wedding
I'll post about each of them seperately.
June 26, 2007
Goodbye Friend
Went on a date last night, it was strange. I'll write about it later, however, something else is bothering me right now.
For some reason, my cable has been out the past couple days. I now only get the basic four and the public access stuff.
It is like in grade school when your best friend went to summer camp.
For some reason, my cable has been out the past couple days. I now only get the basic four and the public access stuff.
It is like in grade school when your best friend went to summer camp.
My New Hero
I have a new hero.
As I got on the red line this morning, I let the girl waiting with me on first. She took the last open seat, right by the door. I was fine with this and was glad to take the end of the el car, where you could lean against the door. After stimulating my brain with all the RedEye had to offer, I glanced up. I noticed that the girl was staring very intently at her copy of the RedEye and I could see her ears focusing on her iPod. Then I saw why. The guy next to her, my new hero. He was probably in his thirties, though it was hard to tell. The combover wasn’t very good, but what hair he had was wavy, even his chest hair. I don’t think sitting was best for him, as it made it appear that he had a bigger gut then needed. He was probably about 5 foot 4, I would guess. But the face definitely had character.
Anyways, he was running his best game to this girl. I applaud his efforts. Picking up a girl on the el is hard, especially when she pretends she can’t hear you over her iPod. Some men, myself included, would probably stop then. But not my hero. He continued to try to strike up a conversation till Belmont. At this point, I thought my hero had given up. But no, he pulled a brilliant maneuver. Instead of engaging her actively, he changed it up. He pretended to fall asleep and lean into her, creating physical contact. It was an amazing move, the girl never saw it coming. She had to weaken her defenses and push him off. I see now where I have so often made the mistake, I never realized the inactive yin to the active yang. I have learned from a master today.
With this opening, he actually got the young professional to talk to him briefly. I think some comments were made regarding what the next stop was and whatever was in the RedEye. And then she shut down again. Once more, I would have quit then, but I am not a master. My hero, nay, he is now OUR Hero, then pulled a maneuver so complex, I think I almost strained a muscle watching it. He channeled his best club beats and started going with the music. I’ve seen it down in clubs and concerts where everyone can hear the music, but here, it was all him. He became her new iPod. Somehow, she continued to focus on the RedEye. It was at this time he turned and I saw the master stroke. To demonstrate his cavalier attitude, he had chosen to ride the el this morning with a cleverly placed bit of napkin about the size of a grain of rice on his face.
By this time, we were at Grand, and more people were getting off then getting on. Our Hero could hear the clock ticking. Once again, he zigged when I would have zagged. A novice, such as myself, would have foolishly continued to put all my eggs in the basket I had been working on for 8 stops. Our Hero instead stands up, leaves her (wanting more, I assure you), and bravely asks a blonde wearing sunglasses underground (I can only assume so no one catches her staring at our Hero, nothing else makes sense) for the time. After which, he turns to place himself in between the two women, who clearly must hate each other with competition and announces, “My stop is next.” A brilliant move which puts the pressure on the girls. They are now the ones with a time limit. Our Hero expires in one stop. Once you hit Lake, he is gone.
The blonde gets so flustered, she can only go take a seat. I am sure she intended to get back up and give our Hero her number, her body, her self, whatever he wanted.
But she was too slow, the stop came. Our Hero and the first girl got off and I can only assume have now started their long happy life together. She was so excited she was practically running down the el station. Almost too fast, he could barely keep up.
I have a new hero, and I took notes.
As I got on the red line this morning, I let the girl waiting with me on first. She took the last open seat, right by the door. I was fine with this and was glad to take the end of the el car, where you could lean against the door. After stimulating my brain with all the RedEye had to offer, I glanced up. I noticed that the girl was staring very intently at her copy of the RedEye and I could see her ears focusing on her iPod. Then I saw why. The guy next to her, my new hero. He was probably in his thirties, though it was hard to tell. The combover wasn’t very good, but what hair he had was wavy, even his chest hair. I don’t think sitting was best for him, as it made it appear that he had a bigger gut then needed. He was probably about 5 foot 4, I would guess. But the face definitely had character.
Anyways, he was running his best game to this girl. I applaud his efforts. Picking up a girl on the el is hard, especially when she pretends she can’t hear you over her iPod. Some men, myself included, would probably stop then. But not my hero. He continued to try to strike up a conversation till Belmont. At this point, I thought my hero had given up. But no, he pulled a brilliant maneuver. Instead of engaging her actively, he changed it up. He pretended to fall asleep and lean into her, creating physical contact. It was an amazing move, the girl never saw it coming. She had to weaken her defenses and push him off. I see now where I have so often made the mistake, I never realized the inactive yin to the active yang. I have learned from a master today.
With this opening, he actually got the young professional to talk to him briefly. I think some comments were made regarding what the next stop was and whatever was in the RedEye. And then she shut down again. Once more, I would have quit then, but I am not a master. My hero, nay, he is now OUR Hero, then pulled a maneuver so complex, I think I almost strained a muscle watching it. He channeled his best club beats and started going with the music. I’ve seen it down in clubs and concerts where everyone can hear the music, but here, it was all him. He became her new iPod. Somehow, she continued to focus on the RedEye. It was at this time he turned and I saw the master stroke. To demonstrate his cavalier attitude, he had chosen to ride the el this morning with a cleverly placed bit of napkin about the size of a grain of rice on his face.
By this time, we were at Grand, and more people were getting off then getting on. Our Hero could hear the clock ticking. Once again, he zigged when I would have zagged. A novice, such as myself, would have foolishly continued to put all my eggs in the basket I had been working on for 8 stops. Our Hero instead stands up, leaves her (wanting more, I assure you), and bravely asks a blonde wearing sunglasses underground (I can only assume so no one catches her staring at our Hero, nothing else makes sense) for the time. After which, he turns to place himself in between the two women, who clearly must hate each other with competition and announces, “My stop is next.” A brilliant move which puts the pressure on the girls. They are now the ones with a time limit. Our Hero expires in one stop. Once you hit Lake, he is gone.
The blonde gets so flustered, she can only go take a seat. I am sure she intended to get back up and give our Hero her number, her body, her self, whatever he wanted.
But she was too slow, the stop came. Our Hero and the first girl got off and I can only assume have now started their long happy life together. She was so excited she was practically running down the el station. Almost too fast, he could barely keep up.
I have a new hero, and I took notes.
June 24, 2007
On the Red Line
I, like many thousands of young professionals, college students, and homeless bums, take the red line between work and home. Not only is cheap, runs often, and drops me off a block from work, but there are also a lot of people to watch. Sometimes they are fun to look at because they are really strange, and sometimes because they are hot girls. Usually, I just sit, watch, listen to my I-pod and read my book.
The other day on my way home from work, I was caught in the 5 o'clock rush. I was stuck in the area right in front of the door. More people continued to pile in every stop. Before we got above ground, a really attractive girl got on and began standing by me. I checked her out. However, it was clearly way too crowded to attempt to begin a conversation. Eventually, we hit stops where people actually get off and the el started to clear. A seat opened up and she went to it. I followed and struck up a conversation. I found out that she was new to the city and was downtown job hunting. I gave her my business card with my cell number on the back and got off at the next stop.
This was very strange for me because I have never really hit on a girl. I have always just fallen ass backwards into relationships. Usually girlfriends were friends of friends or involved in some club with me or something along those lines. I have never asked a girl for her number at a bar or anything like that. Likewise, I don't think I have ever gone on a date with someone that I did not date since high school dances. Just dating around wasn't what I did. It is something that I am learning now.
She called about four days later and we are going out to dinner after her little sister leaves town.
The other day on my way home from work, I was caught in the 5 o'clock rush. I was stuck in the area right in front of the door. More people continued to pile in every stop. Before we got above ground, a really attractive girl got on and began standing by me. I checked her out. However, it was clearly way too crowded to attempt to begin a conversation. Eventually, we hit stops where people actually get off and the el started to clear. A seat opened up and she went to it. I followed and struck up a conversation. I found out that she was new to the city and was downtown job hunting. I gave her my business card with my cell number on the back and got off at the next stop.
This was very strange for me because I have never really hit on a girl. I have always just fallen ass backwards into relationships. Usually girlfriends were friends of friends or involved in some club with me or something along those lines. I have never asked a girl for her number at a bar or anything like that. Likewise, I don't think I have ever gone on a date with someone that I did not date since high school dances. Just dating around wasn't what I did. It is something that I am learning now.
She called about four days later and we are going out to dinner after her little sister leaves town.
June 23, 2007
Went To A Gay Party
One of my friends from high school works at a summer camp in upstate New York. Before he left, his boyfriend threw him a going away party. His boyfriend is a lawyer at a fairly large firm in the city. Therefore, there were going to be a lot of lawyers at the party.
I hate lawyers.
I told my friend that I would only go if I could pretend not be a lawyer. I just didn't want to deal with the whole lawyer-lawyer talk where you pull out your legal penis and measure. After some brainstorming, I decide to be a architect. I know enough about it to speak convincingly for a party conversation. Plus, they are lawyers, they will be drunk. That makes lots of things easier.
I get to the party, and as suspected, it is all lawyers and homosexual males. Two groups that I have no desire to date. I get the tour from my friend, meet the boyfriend, and do some catching up. I talk to a couple of lawyers, they buy my story. I talk to some other people, they buy it. All is going good.
Then I am talking to an out of town couple. I tell them about when my friend came out of the closet. Which prompts the question, "When did you come out?"
"Ummm... I am straight."
"oh"
It amused me.
Later, another guy from our high school shows up. My friend let him know that I was pretending to be an architect. He decides he is going to help me, which is nice. Sadly, he is very drunk. That leads to this exchange when I am talking to one of the few non-attorney females.
He staggers up, obviously drunk and drools, "Hey Mr. Architect, I want you to build me a house."
"I told you, I rehab old industrial buildings to make them more green friendly."
"But I want a house, you need to design it."
"I don't do that, I can recommend you to someone. Right now, let me introduce you to Beth." (making up the girl's name, i forget).
Not taking the hint that he needs to stop saying architect, "But you are an architect, right? I want you to architect."
Worse wingman ever.
I hate lawyers.
I told my friend that I would only go if I could pretend not be a lawyer. I just didn't want to deal with the whole lawyer-lawyer talk where you pull out your legal penis and measure. After some brainstorming, I decide to be a architect. I know enough about it to speak convincingly for a party conversation. Plus, they are lawyers, they will be drunk. That makes lots of things easier.
I get to the party, and as suspected, it is all lawyers and homosexual males. Two groups that I have no desire to date. I get the tour from my friend, meet the boyfriend, and do some catching up. I talk to a couple of lawyers, they buy my story. I talk to some other people, they buy it. All is going good.
Then I am talking to an out of town couple. I tell them about when my friend came out of the closet. Which prompts the question, "When did you come out?"
"Ummm... I am straight."
"oh"
It amused me.
Later, another guy from our high school shows up. My friend let him know that I was pretending to be an architect. He decides he is going to help me, which is nice. Sadly, he is very drunk. That leads to this exchange when I am talking to one of the few non-attorney females.
He staggers up, obviously drunk and drools, "Hey Mr. Architect, I want you to build me a house."
"I told you, I rehab old industrial buildings to make them more green friendly."
"But I want a house, you need to design it."
"I don't do that, I can recommend you to someone. Right now, let me introduce you to Beth." (making up the girl's name, i forget).
Not taking the hint that he needs to stop saying architect, "But you are an architect, right? I want you to architect."
Worse wingman ever.
June 22, 2007
Sushi Girl
This is up to date posting, as it is currently happening. It probably would be funnier if I posted some other stories first, for compare and contrast purposes. I will have to get them up later.
Regardless, two days ago I was slightly behind at work. So I decided to do a working lunch. I went across the street to a little cafe that makes decent sushi. A roll is a great working lunch food. If you know how to use chopsticks, it is easy to eat, not messy, and allows you to do other things while eating.
So as I walk in, I hold the door open for the lady behind me, as I tend to do (I am one polite motherfucker). I notice that she and a couple other ladies in the cafe are well dressed professional type ladies. I always approve of that look.
I approach the counter, order my spicy tuna to go and give them my name. I then take a seat at the counter, waiting for my food. One of the ladies grabs her coffee and gives me a smile on the way out. I always appreciate that, I look good in biz casual clothes, so the girls should approve. After a couple minutes, I get my food and go back to work.
The next day, I am looking at Craigslist's missed connections because otherwise I would get work accomplished. I notice a posting for Spicy Tuna. I open it thinking I will get a good restaurant recommendation from it. It says, "*The Guy*: I like spicy tuna, too. Maybe we could eat lunch together?"
Eh?
So a couple e-mails to Life Coach later, I reply asking where the sushi comes from. The reply is correct. I e-mail a couple more questions, all answered correctly. I get a picture, I kinda remember her, she's not fat.
As a result, I am going on a lunch date sometime next week with some thirty year women who watched me order raw fish.
Regardless, two days ago I was slightly behind at work. So I decided to do a working lunch. I went across the street to a little cafe that makes decent sushi. A roll is a great working lunch food. If you know how to use chopsticks, it is easy to eat, not messy, and allows you to do other things while eating.
So as I walk in, I hold the door open for the lady behind me, as I tend to do (I am one polite motherfucker). I notice that she and a couple other ladies in the cafe are well dressed professional type ladies. I always approve of that look.
I approach the counter, order my spicy tuna to go and give them my name. I then take a seat at the counter, waiting for my food. One of the ladies grabs her coffee and gives me a smile on the way out. I always appreciate that, I look good in biz casual clothes, so the girls should approve. After a couple minutes, I get my food and go back to work.
The next day, I am looking at Craigslist's missed connections because otherwise I would get work accomplished. I notice a posting for Spicy Tuna. I open it thinking I will get a good restaurant recommendation from it. It says, "*The Guy*: I like spicy tuna, too. Maybe we could eat lunch together?"
Eh?
So a couple e-mails to Life Coach later, I reply asking where the sushi comes from. The reply is correct. I e-mail a couple more questions, all answered correctly. I get a picture, I kinda remember her, she's not fat.
As a result, I am going on a lunch date sometime next week with some thirty year women who watched me order raw fish.
June 21, 2007
Pop Culture
Yesterday, Life Coach and myself went to see "Knocked Up". Also, this past weekend I read "The Average American Male".
Both the book and the movie had some parts that were clearly meant to be satire on modern American dating, especially for young men. Satire generally is accomplished by going over the top a little bit. However, in both of them, i have personally done stuff above and beyond the satire.
I am ahead of the curve.
Fuck.
Both the book and the movie had some parts that were clearly meant to be satire on modern American dating, especially for young men. Satire generally is accomplished by going over the top a little bit. However, in both of them, i have personally done stuff above and beyond the satire.
I am ahead of the curve.
Fuck.
My Life Coach
At one point in my debacle I started talking to an old friend.
Actually, she was a girl a dated for about a year in undergrad. We had stopped talking, mainly because LTR was very jealous of any contacts i had with old girlfriends. However, this relationship was one of those ones where you are better friends then significant others. Now, I tell her everything. She has become my Life Coach.
The dynamic is amusing because Life Coach isn't too good at relationships either. So hopefully we can learn from each other's mistakes. Or at least laugh at them.
I think it is good to have someone that you can admit to all the crazy/stupid/fucked up stuff you do. Everyone does stuff they shouldn't. Especially me. If I wasn't able to tell anyone... I would go crazy.
Thanks Life Coach.
Actually, she was a girl a dated for about a year in undergrad. We had stopped talking, mainly because LTR was very jealous of any contacts i had with old girlfriends. However, this relationship was one of those ones where you are better friends then significant others. Now, I tell her everything. She has become my Life Coach.
The dynamic is amusing because Life Coach isn't too good at relationships either. So hopefully we can learn from each other's mistakes. Or at least laugh at them.
I think it is good to have someone that you can admit to all the crazy/stupid/fucked up stuff you do. Everyone does stuff they shouldn't. Especially me. If I wasn't able to tell anyone... I would go crazy.
Thanks Life Coach.
June 18, 2007
You have to have rules
I figure there are two types of attraction: physical and mental. Now, I am all about the mental. I have to find a girl funny, interesting, able to hold my attention (and I may have ADD, so that is a challenge). However, first impressions are based solely on looks. I figure I deserve it all, therefore there is a rule.
RULE No. 1:
Don't date ugly chicks.
RULE No. 1:
Don't date ugly chicks.
June 17, 2007
Background
I am a 26 year old single man in Chicago. I currently live by myself. I work downtown as a lawyer. I am tall, good looking, funny, smart, etc. Honestly, I am a catch. However, I am horrible at dating.
For nearly four years I was dating the girl I thought I would marry (hereinafter (told you I was a lawyer) called "LTR"). However, after one really unhappy summer, I broke up with her last fall. One month later, I tried to get her back... by proposing marriage. That debacle was about 3.5 months of pure hell for me. Eventually LTR broke my heart and I was forced to move on. Sadly, thoughts of her still affect me to this day.
More importantly, after being with LTR for so long, I have no clue how to date. Dating in your mid-20s is apparantly different then dating in college. I failed to recieve the memo. Therefore, I am writing this to help others. Or to at least give others some laughs.
Enjoy
For nearly four years I was dating the girl I thought I would marry (hereinafter (told you I was a lawyer) called "LTR"). However, after one really unhappy summer, I broke up with her last fall. One month later, I tried to get her back... by proposing marriage. That debacle was about 3.5 months of pure hell for me. Eventually LTR broke my heart and I was forced to move on. Sadly, thoughts of her still affect me to this day.
More importantly, after being with LTR for so long, I have no clue how to date. Dating in your mid-20s is apparantly different then dating in college. I failed to recieve the memo. Therefore, I am writing this to help others. Or to at least give others some laughs.
Enjoy
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