My New Hero

I have a new hero.

As I got on the red line this morning, I let the girl waiting with me on first. She took the last open seat, right by the door. I was fine with this and was glad to take the end of the el car, where you could lean against the door. After stimulating my brain with all the RedEye had to offer, I glanced up. I noticed that the girl was staring very intently at her copy of the RedEye and I could see her ears focusing on her iPod. Then I saw why. The guy next to her, my new hero. He was probably in his thirties, though it was hard to tell. The combover wasn’t very good, but what hair he had was wavy, even his chest hair. I don’t think sitting was best for him, as it made it appear that he had a bigger gut then needed. He was probably about 5 foot 4, I would guess. But the face definitely had character.

Anyways, he was running his best game to this girl. I applaud his efforts. Picking up a girl on the el is hard, especially when she pretends she can’t hear you over her iPod. Some men, myself included, would probably stop then. But not my hero. He continued to try to strike up a conversation till Belmont. At this point, I thought my hero had given up. But no, he pulled a brilliant maneuver. Instead of engaging her actively, he changed it up. He pretended to fall asleep and lean into her, creating physical contact. It was an amazing move, the girl never saw it coming. She had to weaken her defenses and push him off. I see now where I have so often made the mistake, I never realized the inactive yin to the active yang. I have learned from a master today.

With this opening, he actually got the young professional to talk to him briefly. I think some comments were made regarding what the next stop was and whatever was in the RedEye. And then she shut down again. Once more, I would have quit then, but I am not a master. My hero, nay, he is now OUR Hero, then pulled a maneuver so complex, I think I almost strained a muscle watching it. He channeled his best club beats and started going with the music. I’ve seen it down in clubs and concerts where everyone can hear the music, but here, it was all him. He became her new iPod. Somehow, she continued to focus on the RedEye. It was at this time he turned and I saw the master stroke. To demonstrate his cavalier attitude, he had chosen to ride the el this morning with a cleverly placed bit of napkin about the size of a grain of rice on his face.

By this time, we were at Grand, and more people were getting off then getting on. Our Hero could hear the clock ticking. Once again, he zigged when I would have zagged. A novice, such as myself, would have foolishly continued to put all my eggs in the basket I had been working on for 8 stops. Our Hero instead stands up, leaves her (wanting more, I assure you), and bravely asks a blonde wearing sunglasses underground (I can only assume so no one catches her staring at our Hero, nothing else makes sense) for the time. After which, he turns to place himself in between the two women, who clearly must hate each other with competition and announces, “My stop is next.” A brilliant move which puts the pressure on the girls. They are now the ones with a time limit. Our Hero expires in one stop. Once you hit Lake, he is gone.

The blonde gets so flustered, she can only go take a seat. I am sure she intended to get back up and give our Hero her number, her body, her self, whatever he wanted.

But she was too slow, the stop came. Our Hero and the first girl got off and I can only assume have now started their long happy life together. She was so excited she was practically running down the el station. Almost too fast, he could barely keep up.

I have a new hero, and I took notes.