Went To A Gay Party

One of my friends from high school works at a summer camp in upstate New York. Before he left, his boyfriend threw him a going away party. His boyfriend is a lawyer at a fairly large firm in the city. Therefore, there were going to be a lot of lawyers at the party.

I hate lawyers.

I told my friend that I would only go if I could pretend not be a lawyer. I just didn't want to deal with the whole lawyer-lawyer talk where you pull out your legal penis and measure. After some brainstorming, I decide to be a architect. I know enough about it to speak convincingly for a party conversation. Plus, they are lawyers, they will be drunk. That makes lots of things easier.

I get to the party, and as suspected, it is all lawyers and homosexual males. Two groups that I have no desire to date. I get the tour from my friend, meet the boyfriend, and do some catching up. I talk to a couple of lawyers, they buy my story. I talk to some other people, they buy it. All is going good.

Then I am talking to an out of town couple. I tell them about when my friend came out of the closet. Which prompts the question, "When did you come out?"

"Ummm... I am straight."

"oh"

It amused me.

Later, another guy from our high school shows up. My friend let him know that I was pretending to be an architect. He decides he is going to help me, which is nice. Sadly, he is very drunk. That leads to this exchange when I am talking to one of the few non-attorney females.

He staggers up, obviously drunk and drools, "Hey Mr. Architect, I want you to build me a house."

"I told you, I rehab old industrial buildings to make them more green friendly."

"But I want a house, you need to design it."

"I don't do that, I can recommend you to someone. Right now, let me introduce you to Beth." (making up the girl's name, i forget).

Not taking the hint that he needs to stop saying architect, "But you are an architect, right? I want you to architect."

Worse wingman ever.