Special Guest Post

This is a story from Mr. A, a dear dear friend of mine. Mr. A lives out in Cali where he works for a start-up, which is kind of retro now, I think. Anyways, he asked that this story be shared, and as it is funny, I shall share it. Hopefully he will supply us with some more amusing west coast stories as his own dating adventures continue (as written to me, minor formatting edits):

i'm trying to get back into shape. turns out, its a lot harder than getting out of shape. but i'm getting back on a regular running schedule. there is a notorious intersection on the path i usually take which can take a long few minutes to cross. of course i get stopped nearly every time i go for a run, this time i had some company - an extremely attractive girl, in a random pair of 'look at my beautiful ass, it has words on it' shorts. i blurt out 'want to hail down a taxi to get to the other side?'. she ignores me. but i decided that day that i wasn't to be deterred so i said 'should've brought a deck of cards'. this time she looks at me and smiles, but doesn't say anything. for a man who has been walking in the desert, a smile is like a tall glass of water. i drank it in and said 'want to run together, it'll give you an ego boost?' and this time she takes off her headphones and says 'what?'. headphones! how could i have missed that??! why didn't she have the self-righteous white iPod headphones on? i'm such an idiot. so i repeat the last sentence a little half-heartedly, but she actually laughs and says 'sure, but i have a feeling you're the one whose going to walk awaywith a bigger ego.' i spend the rest of our short run together relating to her the first two things i had said and then explaining why i'm so out of shape, and listening to her out of shape story(almost certainly a lie told out of modesty). we have plans to go running together in a few days. i should really be looking forward to it. but, after i woke up the next morning with my entire body in pain from trying to keep up with her so i didn't look pathetic, i'm actually kind of dreading it.

Wait, What?

Somehow I got "dumped" by a girl i wasn't dating?

A friend that I had been hanging out with, doing date-ish type stuff, figured out that we were not going to ever date. I thought she was aware of that, in fact she basically said so herself. However, apparently she changed her mind. So now she doesn't want to hang out for awhile.

It is annoying, because now I don't have anyone to go watch certain movies or do other "couple" activities with.

On the brighter side, my night last night ended at Clarks Dogs at 4 am eating hot dogs with a couple cute sisters. Amusing night.

Evil Facebook

Ok, Facebook is evil, we all know that.

However, it has come to my attention that LTR has various photos of me still up on her profile. There are from various parties, our trip to Vegas, etc.

So I wonder what is the etiquette of this? What happens when she befriends a new guy and he looks at her page? How does she explain her being in Sin City with such a handsome man? Isn't that just awkward? I really think you should remove any couple-ish photos. Photos of me in a group, sure. But photos of us holding the dog? Strange.

A further complication is that I didn't have a facebook profile while dating LTR. I just got one recently as part of a separate social experiment. I think I can befriend one person and get to all my groups of friends through her, my hometown friends, high school friends, college, etc. Law school is the only potential issue, but really, lawyers suck, so I don't care. Anyways, that means that I am not tagged in any of the photos. Now I have a profile. So the question is, what happens if I go tag myself in her photos?

My New Crush

I went to the Rentals concert tonight. Just got back.

And I have a new crush. One of the new female vocalists/guitarists/mooger/etc, Sara Radle. She was great. Completely fit into a band that has been a favorite of mine since high school.

But yeah, she was gorgeous and rocked it. She is my new crush.

Silly Cookie

I was on another pseudo-date with my friend that I go on pseudo-dates with. I think we both are liking the arrangement of having someone to do certain couple-ish things with, because let's face it, brunch and the zoo are awesome. However, sometimes I think she gets a little uneasy about the fact that we never actually discuss how we just go on dates but aren't dating. She asks some pointed questions and gets a funny look on her face and then drops it.

We went to a weekend matinee in the theater and then went to dinner. We went to a chinese restaurant, so of course we got fortune cookies with the bill. I actually like the taste of fortune cookies. I find them delicious. I liked it when my family used to buy the giant bag of fortune cookie rejects. Simply delicious.

Anyways, our fortunes:
Mine: You will have a long talk soon.
Hers: You will have a romantic encounter today.

Neither one really helped the situation.

7th Floor Girl

As I walked from the el to my building after a hard days work on Monday, I noticed an attractive girl walking on the other side of the street. I thought to myself, "It would be swell if she lived in my building."

As luck would have it, she apparently does. We arrived at the door roughly at the same time. We walked in, both went to the mailboxes and then to the elevators. As an added bonus, she went to the bank for the lower floors like mine. Once we got in the elevator, with another guy, we exchanged smiles, and hers was very pretty.

It was a pleasant bonus, as she was by far the best looking girl that I have seen that lives here. Which is a pretty good compliment.

This morning, I woke up early to do my laundry, showered, got dressed and started my day. I pushed the down button, and as luck would have it, she was in the elevator again. She gave me another smile when I stepped in, which I returned. As it was the morning, I already had my iPod on and the elevator was crowded, I left it at that.

Afterwards, I began to worry that perhaps you only get so many smiles before you are written off. Or perhaps you would continue to get smiles, but that would set the limit, you couldn't move past them. I figured I had some time, as it is pretty random to bump into the same person, especially when I had never seen her before (I am pretty sure I would remember).

However, today on my way home, I looked up and saw her again walking to the door at about the same time as I was arriving. This time she was on her phone ahead of me. She stopped to check out the prices in the beauty shop on our first floor and I passed her. I went and got the door and held it for her. As she entered she said, "How do I keep bumping into you?"

I responded, "I don't know, I guess I'm just lucky." I am not sure if the last part was sweet, suave, creepy or what, but I don't think it matters as she was again on the phone and I don't think she heard me. We again went to the mailboxes and the elevator bank. Other people got on the elevator, including a women in a wheelchair. So we let that one go by and made some small talk. Quickly we got in an empty elevator and went to our respective floors. I took the opportunity to introduce myself, as I only go a few floors. So now I have her name.

After I went for my run (stupid shin splint, you hurt me), I showered and ran to the store. As I passed the beauty shop, she was in there getting a pedicure. I got a smile and a wave.

So I am on first name, smile and wave basis. Just have to figure out how to move to the next couple steps. Should be fun.

Me 1, blogger 0

Haha!

I fixed the language thing! I wonder how i got that set to albanian?

Small victories.

How Other People Are Wrong

There are two things that truly bother me in dating at the moment:
a) Being told "You can do better", and
b) People with lists.

Really, it is the same issue. They both presume that love is some sort of objective standard. The lists are clearly that, those people are not looking to make a connection, they are looking for a recipe. It has been explained to me that the purpose of the list is to make sure you don't settle for someone that is less then you deserve. To me, however, they just ensure that you will never be happy. Once you list off five objective facts, you are going to narrow the possibility of finding someone to the point that looking is pointless. You will meet potentially great people that fall just short of one of your randomly selected factors and that will wipe out all the amazing facets of the person that you didn't consider in your list. Personally, I have two objective things when I look at a potential date: 1) no smokers, and 2) no fatties. I am comfortable with that because I am pretty certain I am still considering a large population.

[An aside, besides the obvious reasons, I won't date smokers because I grew up in a house where both my parents smoked. That seems to either make the children into smokers or hardcore against smoking, my sisters and I all turned out against it. This summer, my mom promised to quit smoking starting on my birthday. So far, she has kept her promise. Go mom! I am proud of you! and if you ever read this, I will be very embarrassed.]

The same objective issue arises when you look to "do better". When things ended with LTR, I was fairly depressed. A couple friends told me to not worry, that I could do better. At that time, I did not want to do better. I had loved her, and losing that love hurt. I now refuse to tell people they could do better. It doesn't matter if you could go date someone more attractive, taller, better educated, blah, etc. All that matters is that if that person makes you happy. Perhaps I am overly romantic and a sissyman, but that is how I feel. Of course, this doesn't stop me from being an asshole.

Ok, silly rant over.

I may be going on a date tonight. Depending on if her flight lands at a reasonable hour and if it can be construed as a "date". I'm not sure if I want it to be one or not, objectively she is great, but see above for how much I care about the objective.

I am a Slacker

Sorry I have been so lax lately. Life gets busy sometimes. Sometimes I have to actually earn those paychecks.

I feel an emotional monolouge coming on soon. So the next post will probably be lame when I get around to writing it.

Until then, a quote:

"... We are all, in our own way, completely and totally alone. If love is real, it is a complete and total failing of the intellect. It is utter self-destruction. It is pandemonium.'

'Yes, thank you, sir.'

'It is my pleasure, Billy."
-The Boy Detective Fails, Joe Meno