How Other People Are Wrong

There are two things that truly bother me in dating at the moment:
a) Being told "You can do better", and
b) People with lists.

Really, it is the same issue. They both presume that love is some sort of objective standard. The lists are clearly that, those people are not looking to make a connection, they are looking for a recipe. It has been explained to me that the purpose of the list is to make sure you don't settle for someone that is less then you deserve. To me, however, they just ensure that you will never be happy. Once you list off five objective facts, you are going to narrow the possibility of finding someone to the point that looking is pointless. You will meet potentially great people that fall just short of one of your randomly selected factors and that will wipe out all the amazing facets of the person that you didn't consider in your list. Personally, I have two objective things when I look at a potential date: 1) no smokers, and 2) no fatties. I am comfortable with that because I am pretty certain I am still considering a large population.

[An aside, besides the obvious reasons, I won't date smokers because I grew up in a house where both my parents smoked. That seems to either make the children into smokers or hardcore against smoking, my sisters and I all turned out against it. This summer, my mom promised to quit smoking starting on my birthday. So far, she has kept her promise. Go mom! I am proud of you! and if you ever read this, I will be very embarrassed.]

The same objective issue arises when you look to "do better". When things ended with LTR, I was fairly depressed. A couple friends told me to not worry, that I could do better. At that time, I did not want to do better. I had loved her, and losing that love hurt. I now refuse to tell people they could do better. It doesn't matter if you could go date someone more attractive, taller, better educated, blah, etc. All that matters is that if that person makes you happy. Perhaps I am overly romantic and a sissyman, but that is how I feel. Of course, this doesn't stop me from being an asshole.

Ok, silly rant over.

I may be going on a date tonight. Depending on if her flight lands at a reasonable hour and if it can be construed as a "date". I'm not sure if I want it to be one or not, objectively she is great, but see above for how much I care about the objective.