I decided that if I got up early in the morning and started to do morning runs, I would have much more time in the evening for other things. Additionally, I would not need the post-run shower in the evening. So I would be saving the world. So I set my alarm clock for an hour and half earlier this morning. This plan failed for several reasons:
1. getting up earlier only starts your day earlier. It does not create extra time. There are still only 24 hours in a day.
2. all noises sound like rain at 6 am. Therefore, I am not likely to get out of bed then.
3. I really like sleep.
4. I stayed up too late last night to start getting up early.
Among other reasons, my plan failed and I went back to sleep. I will try again tomorrow. It is really hard to make changes to your routine.
Also, I got a haircut last night, so: http://youtube.com/watch?v=4JMOh-cul6M
September 25, 2007
September 19, 2007
Choices
Why is that when you give a girl a choice between something that would be entertaining (like say some live music) or something that would be freaking awesome (like say some turtle racing), she never takes the freaking awesome?
Silly girls.
Silly girls.
September 14, 2007
A Real Date
Just in case I give the impression that I am just a jerk on my dates and all that, I will describe my date last saturday, as I think it qualifies as a real date.
The girl is a grad student down at U of C. Please note that grad students (at least the non-law ones) are completely different then your stereotypical U of C student. They have some social skills and aren't completely ugly. Also, they tend to ooze a slightly less amount of pretentious bullshit. However, they still live in Hyde Park, which tends to make them geographically undesirable. This particular girl is in a program that one of my good friends recently graduated from, so I can speak semi-coherently on it with her. Always a bonus. She is smart, cute, and Southern (which is new to me), so she has managed to keep my attention for a couple dates. Last Saturday, we went on a date to celebrate her finishing her summer internship.
I had planned out all of our previous dates, and since she was the one who accomplished something, we brainstormed some ideas together. Eventually, we decided to celebrate the end of summer with a picnic at Millennium Park. It worked out well as they were having a free concert that night, the Lyric Opera House was presenting a sampling of their upcoming season. Even though I am not classy whatsoever, I do not abhor culture, so it was fine with me. She packed a picnic, I brought the physical supplies and a bottle of wine. We got a little luck with the weather, got a nice spot near the back, and had a great time. Though, you tend to talk over the free concerts at Millennium Park, but if you are near the back, everyone does it and it is fine. We could even see the Navy Pier fireworks during intermission.
So there you go, a real date where I was not an asshole and practically was a gentleman. She has been out at her parents the past week, so when she returns to the city, we shall see if this goes anywhere else.
The girl is a grad student down at U of C. Please note that grad students (at least the non-law ones) are completely different then your stereotypical U of C student. They have some social skills and aren't completely ugly. Also, they tend to ooze a slightly less amount of pretentious bullshit. However, they still live in Hyde Park, which tends to make them geographically undesirable. This particular girl is in a program that one of my good friends recently graduated from, so I can speak semi-coherently on it with her. Always a bonus. She is smart, cute, and Southern (which is new to me), so she has managed to keep my attention for a couple dates. Last Saturday, we went on a date to celebrate her finishing her summer internship.
I had planned out all of our previous dates, and since she was the one who accomplished something, we brainstormed some ideas together. Eventually, we decided to celebrate the end of summer with a picnic at Millennium Park. It worked out well as they were having a free concert that night, the Lyric Opera House was presenting a sampling of their upcoming season. Even though I am not classy whatsoever, I do not abhor culture, so it was fine with me. She packed a picnic, I brought the physical supplies and a bottle of wine. We got a little luck with the weather, got a nice spot near the back, and had a great time. Though, you tend to talk over the free concerts at Millennium Park, but if you are near the back, everyone does it and it is fine. We could even see the Navy Pier fireworks during intermission.
So there you go, a real date where I was not an asshole and practically was a gentleman. She has been out at her parents the past week, so when she returns to the city, we shall see if this goes anywhere else.
September 8, 2007
Questions
The Top 10 Questions I Do Not Want To Be Asked on a First Date:
(inspired by this.)
- Does this look contagious?
- You’re a lawyer? Really? You?
- Want to hear about my roommate’s baby Jesus buttplug? (actually asked)
- I am so glad I am waiting for marriage, aren’t you?
- Do you want to know my ring size?
- Do you know what a zj is? Five dollars.
- Did you just fart?
- When is this over?
- Do you know the requirements for a greencard?
1. Do you have any single friends?
Edit: attempted to fix formatting. Decided i didn't really care. I guess writing in word and edit/copying over to blogger doesn't work too well for lists. Live and learn.
September 5, 2007
The Internet is Fun
A couple weekends ago, I was hanging out with some friends. We were playing Bomberman, wasting time until dinner and the play we were attending that night. My friends asked about my dating life, and I told them that I just had some random dates, nothing real. They decided I needed to post an ad on craigslist. I am not one to say no, so I told them to write one up and I would post it.
Given about a half hour, they managed to come up with something that can only be described as functionally retarded. The text of the ad was downright creepy. It made allusions to babies and dinners not yet made. It gave me the impression that I wanted to make babies and then make them into dinner and feed them to a women. To cap it off, they attached a picture of a small dog wrapped in a hot dog bun. I kept my word though, and posted the ad. Here are the responses:
No. 1: merely said, “How cute is the puppy???? 28 f wanna chat.”
I replied I was at work, and therefore could not. She offered to exchange pictures, so I thought I was in luck if she was eager to show herself to me. Then I received another e-mail with the attachment. It looked like she was going to eat her friends. I politely refused to email back.
No. 2: Called my post interesting. Then asked a series of get to know you type questions. Then claimed to be 28, single, professional and attractive. So I answered her questions and asked a few of my own. Apparently she did not like my comment that I was glad she was attractive, as attractive is better then ugly. She never wrote back.
No. 3: Wrote “that is by far the cutest pic but i bet you knew that when you put it onhere” in her e-mail. She clearly did not earn points for using anything that resembles proper English, but this was craigslist, so a slight handicap is to be expected. I decided to play cute with her and was very flirty in my responses. Also, I alluded to a foot fetish. For some reason, she continued to talk to me until I asked her for a picture. She was fatter then No. 1. I also declined to e-mail her back. She asked why. I claimed that I just got slammed at work. She knows why.
No. 4: Clearly was spam. However, I responded anyways. I even supplied a picture for her. I sent her a photo of a close play at home from the 1970s. I claimed I was Johny Bench. She responded that she was at work and couldn’t use her e-mail. We would have to logon to a special website to get to know each other better. I decided to draw the line with the spammer there.
No. 5: The last one came to the party a couple days late, with “That dog is so adorable!” I informed her that the dog was in danger due to the fact that only very large women appeared to be attracted to the ad. I feared for his safety of being eaten and therefore had him removed from the city.
For some reason, this one is still e-mailing me. I have swayed from being very vague to outright creepy. I made her establish a safe word (“sailboat”) after about 4 e-mails. I have gone on rants regarding, among other things: mustard, limericks, pirates, birth order, fetishes, and other.
For some reason, this seems to interest her. As she is not horribly ugly, I do not mind entertaining her. I find it slightly amusing to scare her such as. I fully expect her to proposition me at some point.
So there we go, that is what happens when you post something inane on craigslist. You get fat chicks and a girl who doesn’t know when to run.
Given about a half hour, they managed to come up with something that can only be described as functionally retarded. The text of the ad was downright creepy. It made allusions to babies and dinners not yet made. It gave me the impression that I wanted to make babies and then make them into dinner and feed them to a women. To cap it off, they attached a picture of a small dog wrapped in a hot dog bun. I kept my word though, and posted the ad. Here are the responses:
No. 1: merely said, “How cute is the puppy???? 28 f wanna chat.”
I replied I was at work, and therefore could not. She offered to exchange pictures, so I thought I was in luck if she was eager to show herself to me. Then I received another e-mail with the attachment. It looked like she was going to eat her friends. I politely refused to email back.
No. 2: Called my post interesting. Then asked a series of get to know you type questions. Then claimed to be 28, single, professional and attractive. So I answered her questions and asked a few of my own. Apparently she did not like my comment that I was glad she was attractive, as attractive is better then ugly. She never wrote back.
No. 3: Wrote “that is by far the cutest pic but i bet you knew that when you put it onhere” in her e-mail. She clearly did not earn points for using anything that resembles proper English, but this was craigslist, so a slight handicap is to be expected. I decided to play cute with her and was very flirty in my responses. Also, I alluded to a foot fetish. For some reason, she continued to talk to me until I asked her for a picture. She was fatter then No. 1. I also declined to e-mail her back. She asked why. I claimed that I just got slammed at work. She knows why.
No. 4: Clearly was spam. However, I responded anyways. I even supplied a picture for her. I sent her a photo of a close play at home from the 1970s. I claimed I was Johny Bench. She responded that she was at work and couldn’t use her e-mail. We would have to logon to a special website to get to know each other better. I decided to draw the line with the spammer there.
No. 5: The last one came to the party a couple days late, with “That dog is so adorable!” I informed her that the dog was in danger due to the fact that only very large women appeared to be attracted to the ad. I feared for his safety of being eaten and therefore had him removed from the city.
For some reason, this one is still e-mailing me. I have swayed from being very vague to outright creepy. I made her establish a safe word (“sailboat”) after about 4 e-mails. I have gone on rants regarding, among other things: mustard, limericks, pirates, birth order, fetishes, and other.
For some reason, this seems to interest her. As she is not horribly ugly, I do not mind entertaining her. I find it slightly amusing to scare her such as. I fully expect her to proposition me at some point.
So there we go, that is what happens when you post something inane on craigslist. You get fat chicks and a girl who doesn’t know when to run.
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